Thursday, July 26, 2007

V to the IR G to the izzO

First, let me reach out to all you Caps and Cap-Cuspers by saying my husband is a Cap. And yes he is a goat to the extreme of goatiness. Sometimes I catch him munching on my clothes and have to give his horns a tweak. So I am a Virgo surrounded by Capricorns. This is ok. You all could be a bunch of Areses (heehee).

I looked a couple of places for Virgo info. The info I gleaned from my exhaustive 0.25 hours of research yielded the following statements.

Virgo is said to rule the abdominal region, large and small intestines, spleen, solar plexus, lower lobes of the liver, pancreas, portal veins, umbilicus, hands, nails, and carpal bones.

Anybody need their solar plexus put back in line? How ‘bout your portal veins? If one of your intestines is not performing up to par I will whip that motherlovin’ wiggly squiggly piece of innertube into shape, you just say the word.

Virgo is a barren sign - Virgo Hath the name of the barren Signe, for Mayds of themselves produce no Births &c.

Hellloooo. Anybody heard of the VIRGIN Mary? Mayds of themselves may produce no Births &c, but just provide for them a convenient mote of dust or beam of sunlight and they are all set to go with bringing forth Messiahs, Holy Figures, Lords &c.

Physically, individuals born under the sign of Virgo supposedly tend to have a graceful figure, a roundish head, full and delicately-shaped lips, perfect teeth, a clear complexion, large and clear eyes, small, symmetrical, and refined features, a high forehead, a thin nose, coarsely-textured hair, long arms and thin eyebrows.

Wow. It’s like they described me to a tee. Especially that part about the roundish head. I often feel a little out of place with my round head. Someday I may have corrective surgery so I can be square headed like the rest of humanity.

Virgos are very critical of their own photographs and fussy in the extreme about how they look, both on film and in person.

Got it. On the nose.




Many astrologers who study the powerful asteroid Chiron, known as "the wounded healer", believe it has the best claim upon the rulership of Virgo.

I’m going to get a new bumper sticker – kind of like those “my master is a Jewish carpenter” ones – only it will say “My master is an asteroid.” I bet it catches on.

When they're annoyed by vulgarity, stupidity or careless­ness, Virgos can suddenly become cranky, irritable, scold­ing and nervous.

Better watch the spelling on those comments people. I will SCOLD your ass for some careless spelling.

A fresh breeze blows through the dream of a Virgo, sweeping it free of wisps of wild, inaccurate fancies. . . Virginian good fortune is always followed by five kinds of loneliness*FIVE KINDS PEOPLE*, and duty's clarion call is never still within these gentle hearts. Don't forget that the shy, wistful smile of Virgo hides a secret or two *I GOT SECRETS, YO*. Both the quicksilver of Mercury and the distant thunder of Vulcan run through his quiet blood *I GOT "DISTANT THUNDER" AND I GOT "QUIET" - HOW I DO THAT IS A SECRET HIDDEN BEHIND MY WISTFUL SMILE*. . . Underneath his serious manner lies the alluring aura of the Virgin-purity of thought and purpose, symbolized by the Virgo hyacinth. Once you've known the fragrance of this Easter flower, you're never quite free of its spell*BE NICE OR I WILL USE MY MAGIC POWERS TO MAKE YOU MY SLAVE*. It returns each spring to haunt the memory. Virgo has its own, secret way of making the heart remember.

Sniff.

Peace and Love to you Caps, and everyone else in the starry sky! G Love

3 comments:

MSO Rin said...

Way to kill our anonymity with that photo, you haunting, cranky, pancreatic Virgo. (See, there's my Cappy over-critical horn kickin' in!)

Wicked M said...

I LOVE the picture!! LOVE!

I cannot stop laughing.

glove said...

Does my non-icognito photo make anyone else yawn every time they see it?