i wonder how others describe me.

i sometimes think about this very topic while i'm at work. i can hear the conversations between my colleagues and students who are seeking help and i'll hear a student say, "i'm not sure what her name was, but she was _________." then, i'll hear my colleague take a shot at who that person is trying to describe. the best one i've had to date was a student who said, "she's very pretty and has long hair." my colleague inquired, "was it super jane?" the student responded, "yeah, that's it. i spoke with super jane." i was walking on air for the rest of the day, my ego a bit inflated.

i think that most would describe me as outgoing. last friday, i was told that i talk a lot, but i would have to disagree with that. i only talk a lot to this particular person because she hardly talks at all! i loathe awkward pauses in conversations, so when she looks at me and says nothing , i feel it necessary to say something. am i outgoing and willing to strike up a conversation with anyone? most definitely. do i talk incessantly just to hear the sound of my own voice. no. (at least i hope not anyway.)

another adjective that i believe most people would attach to me is 'positive.' unfortunately, i disagree with this one, although i do put on a good front. my faith in God keeps me going through the tough times which i won't get into here. let's just say that we've faced our share of incredible health issues (aka husband with a brain tumor) and i'll leave it at that. i believe that God has a reason for it all and that's where most may see me as positive. i, myself, am not a "glass 1/2 full" gal although i lead people to believe it a lot of times. after all, who wants to hear about all of the bad stuff going on in my life? or who really cares that i feel like the world is crashing down? okay, there are a handful of people out there, but the majority of society could give a poop. so, when asked about things, i put a smile on my face and say, "well, we'll make it through. we always have and we will again!" waa laa -- fake positivity. i'm good, aren't i?

let's go with the looks route. unlike the student who described me as 'pretty,' i would say i'm more average. i'm not a rock star, but i'm not someone you shudder at either. i'm normal looking although i would say that my body looks fairly good for having had 2 babies. my body isn't what it used to be back in the day, but i am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight which is nice. i dream of the day i'm down to my wedding day weight, but i know that i will never see that size again. that's okay. i think i may look a little anorexic if i got back down to 120 lbs. i'm happy with my body and i don't look too bad, if i do say so myself.

i'm anxious to hear what my fellow wonder women have to say about me. and to those of you who don't know me irl (in real life), let me know what you think too. i'm curious to see how my writing portrays my personality.