Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I Wonder Why My Husband Can't Just Share?

Superman and I live in a teeny little two bedroom apartment. And our teeny little two bedroom apartment has only one itsy bitsy bathroom. This itsy bitsy bathroom makes for many funny situations and has also been the source of several disagreements. The biggest issue? Superman can't share the bathroom. Ever.

Now, I'm not asking him for a completely open-door policy. Oh no. I believe that there are some things, and bodily functions, that should remain private. However. On a busy Tuesday morning when both of us are trying to get ready for work, leave on time, and get a shower, Superman's inability to share the bathroom is a problem. His explanation is that as a child he had to share the one itsy bitsy bathroom in the house with his two sisters. He never got any privacy and when he did manage to steal five minutes, well, it was the fastest getting ready situation on the planet. As a result of this sharing as a kid, Superman now requires to have the itsy bitsy bathroom all to himself.

You're probably thinking to yourself that this isn't that big of a deal. Believe me, it is. It's so bad that Superman very nearly refuses to even come into the itsy bitsy bathroom when I'm in there. I could be showering and he could be bleeding from the eyes, desperate for the gauze beneath the sink, and he would rather sit on the couch bleeding to death. If I have the audacity to try and grab my toothbrush while he is toweling off in the morning, he will grab his towel and huff out of the itsy bitsy bathroom because HE NEEDS HIS SPACE IN THE BATHROOM. Now that I think about it, this is kind of hilarious.

What's not hilarious are the mornings in which Superman enters the itsy bitsy bathroom and gives me no idea as to how long he'll be in there. Most mornings I am found in the kitchen virtually inhaling my cereal in the hopes that I may get lucky and get a window of time in the itsy bitsy bathroom. Other mornings, he will shut the door and only come out after doing any number of things. He'll shave, shower, brush his teeth, floss, blah, blah, blah and come out after leaving the itsy bitsy bathroom a temperature that is equivalent to the sun. I will be stuck in the hallway, tapping my toes, thinking, "If I could just get in there for five seconds, I could brush my teeth!"

Ah, the joys of "sharing" an itsy bitsy bathroom.

*It should be noted that most mornings we are not getting ready for work at the same time by design. Since I work out in the mornings, I wake him up when I leave and he does his thing while I'm gone. It has made for a much easier start to the day.

**Something that occurred to me as I started writing this entry today. If we had done this blog a year ago at this time, neither G Love nor I would have had a husband to speak of. We would have had fiances to speak of (and probably wedding planning issues to complain about), but how cool is it that all four of us are married now? Moving on...


Marcie Muensterbee said...

I would kill him. I can honestly say that. My poor DH has to share with my friends when they are around. He once climbed into the shower behind the curtain fully dressed, undressed and showered because we refused to leave his space. ah...the joys of marriage. :)

glove said...

I'm with Marcie.

I'm curious - if you got a place with double sinks and lots of space, do you think he could get down with sharing?

Alternatively, you could look for a place with two bathrooms.

**I heart being newlyweds! Isn't it fun?

Wicked M said...

Superman's ideal bathroom situation would be two completely separate bathrooms. Completely. Separate.

The double sink idea is great, but he wouldn't share then either. It's about his own personal time whilst in the bathroom.

It's just odd to me since I'm always asking him to come and brush his teeth while I am taking my contacts out at night. We could cuddle longer in bed that way. He's having no part of that. Nada. The man needs his space in the bathroom.

super jane said...

roflmao! thankfully, super jas showers at night and i shower in the morning. plus, we have double sinks, which is awesome. whoever thought of doing that to begin with is a genius.