Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I Wonder Why I'm So Afraid of the Dark?

So I am coming out publicly and saying it. I'm afraid of the dark. Terrified, actually. It stems from my childhood and the night terrors that plagued me for years. I had a recurring nightmare that caused me to scream and cry and my poor parents were unable to do anything. They had to shake me for minutes to wake me. My grandma still likes to remind me of the horrible dreams I had as a kid because it makes her laugh. Imagine a little five year old girl with pigtails yelling about wolves under her bed (one of my other recurring nightmares as a kid) and asking grandma to get them. Looking back, it is funny. When it was happening? Not so much.

I guess it makes sense, then, that I would be afraid of the dark. I never had nightmares while awake or when it was daylight. For me, the night was full of things to be feared. I also have a wild imagination and I can conjure up almost any sort of awful person, animal or occurrence if I have enough darkness and time. This fear is also a big reason that I abhor scary movies and haunted houses. I frighten myself enough without those things!

I panic if my husband walks out of a room and turns the lights off. He does it out of habit or as a joke, but my immediate reaction is to freak out. The fear grips me and I can feel my pulse begin to race. I dash for the light switch and my fear vanishes as quickly as it came. When my husband travels, I sleep with the television on so that I won't be encased in darkness. Otherwise, I would be awake for hours worrying about every little sound or horrible thing that could be slinking around the corner in the dark.

I know it is irrational and silly. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to overcome this fear. The dark holds me in its grip and probably will forever.

1 comment:

MissRancher said...

I hear ya, sister. To this very day, I cannot let my feet hang over the edge of the bed or the monster will get them! I have to be encased in the all protective haven of the Blanket, or else I am vulnerable to attack. No matter how hot it is.