Monday, September 24, 2007

i wonder why work sucks.

it's monday and i didn't sleep well last night and i'd rather be doing anything else in the world besides what i'm (supposed to be) doing - work. my colleague and i joked this morning that all weekend we sat around thinking, "boy, do i wish it were monday. i just can't wait to get back to work." it provided us some laughs, but not enough to make up for the fact that we are indeed stuck here for 8.5 hours today. i almost called into work sick this morning, but decided not to. i haven't worked a full work week since last month, so i felt a little guilty. besides, what would i say when everyone would inevitably ask me what was wrong with me? i can't stand to lie, so i dragged my tired behind (or biscuit - that still makes me laugh, wicked m!) out of bed and into my office.

does any gal out there really like her job? i mean, really, truly, can't-imagine-not-working love her job? okay, perhaps there are a few out there who can't imagine not working, but she's probably a model or sports star or something like that. what about us typical gals? why does work suck so much for us?

my job is okay and i don't loathe it, but it still sucks because, let's face it, work sucks. it requires us to get out of bed early and actually use our brains to think about something for 8 hrs. there are some days when my mind is super clear and can race through any given task with little effort or resistance. but then there are other days (like today) when it takes every ounce of energy i can muster in order to run a report.

the worst things about my job are the stress and the fact that i'm not with my family. i wouldn't say that my job is totally high stress, but there is a fair amount of it. every day i have these panic moments when i think, "ohmygosh, i think i just reallllly messed up someone's account." and my heart always beats a mile a minute when i download my reports from the state. i'm terrified i will do something wrong and end up costing the university tons of money. plus, students can get a bit testy when you're talking dollars with them. i always love it when those sweet, young students drop the f-bomb in my office. that always makes for a lovely day.

my daughters are notorious for loading on the guilt when i walk out the door each morning. leah is usually the first one up and we're able to spend a bit of time together before i head out the door. today, she sat with me while i ate my breakfast and then sat on my bathroom floor and colored me pictures of kittens while i showered. and nearly every day, she'll hug me tight around my neck, tell me she loves me, and then asks if i could please take her to school. which i can't. and that sucks.

typically, alana wakes up right as i'm heading out the door. she doesn't say much in the morning, but does love to snuggle. she'll walk out of her room and yell "MOMMMMMY!" i'll hold her for a few minutes on the couch and inevitably super jas will have to peel her off of me as she screams and yells "MOMMMMMMY" and tears roll down her cheeks. most days, i arrive at work a few minutes late, but i don't mind. there are much more important things in life like snuggling with your sleepy baby or coloring kittens drinking milk in a coloring book than being at my desk by 8am.

unfortunately, work is something that we all have to do unless we've won the powerball. we put up with the crap and the stress and the guilt of it all to pay our bills and make our way through life. it's a fact of life but, that still doesn't mean that it can't suck, right?

3 comments:

glove said...

This is a baaaaad week for this topic for me. Or a goooood week, I suppose, sine I'll have a lot to write.

Sigh. I feel ya.

glove said...

sine = since. not sine like sine, cosine, tangent. in case you were confused.

Wicked M said...

The mere idea of parents having to leave a wailing child every morning to go to work makes my heart ache. I hate that you have to do that, but your girls are very lucky that their daddy can be home with them during the day.

Work stinks. Period. End of story. Whoops! I think I just wrote my entire entry there.