Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tale as Old As Time


Darlin's and my beginnings are an interesting tale. The one sentence summary is: we were both somewhat rootless when we met, but our long distance communications did eventually segue into marriage-with-child.

Well, that's not very interesting, is it? I'd better plunge into the gory details. You may want some graph paper and a protractor to keep up with this. Go ahead, get 'em, I'll wait.


I (and all the other WW of course) went to a Small College in the Midwest, in the 90s. Darlin's parents attended the same college, in the 70s. The 3 of us majored in theatre and studied under the same man, and their alumni activities with this man and his theatre threw us together a few times, even though the college was in the Midwest and they lived in South Carolina. They came and stayed and taught a full semester my senior year of college, which I completely missed because I had left school early to travel in Australia. Ships in the night, as it were.

Fast forward to 3 years later. I'd been dumped by my pseudo-fiance and lost my job all at once, and was feeling both homeless and directionless. I was offered a short term job as Assistant Stage Manager for a play being performed at our Small College in the Midwest, which I took, because what else was I going to do? As it turned out, my future in-laws were also visiting and involved in this show. We all worked together, and had a great time, and very early on it came up that their son was my same age. A joke was carelessly tossed out that they were going to fix me up with this son of theirs, which quickly turned into "when's the wedding" and "make sure to have lots of babies." Har dee har har, we all had a laugh, and when the show was over they went back home to Carolina and I stuck around the Midwest.

Still with me?

I decided to visit the future in-laws in South Carolina, with MSO Rin and another friend. We drove down. I met Darlin, who just happened to also be there that weekend. I was interested enough in him to exchange emails and phone numbers at the end of the weekend, and then I returned to the Midwest. The next day he got in his car and moved to Denver, CO.

We wrote, we set up a sort of weekly phone date, and soon our phone calls got more frequent. I was dating a few young gentlemen at this time, one of them semi-seriously, and I wasn't too sure what was happening with Darlin because, hellLLOO, he was in Denver and I was in the Midwest. But I kept emailing. Kept calling. Really looked forward to dialing up my internet and hearing the words "Mail Truck." Stomped my foot in frustration on days when I missed his call. Began planting the seeds with my other gentlemen callers that they were not to expect anything serious out of me (I'm making it sound like I was The Shizz at this time, and, well hey, I was verra skinny back then is, I guess, the explanation.)

Clearly, we had to do something. If you will refer to your graph paper (perhaps I should have suggested a map of the United States, instead?) you will note that he is in Denver, I am in Indiana, and those two places are very far apart. What is a fledgling relationship to do? He wasn't planning on staying in Denver. I wasn't planning on staying in the Midwest. But neither could we plan to move to the same place to be together just to see how things worked. Pressure, much? It was a quandary.

I decided to just pick a place to live. I had to find a home for myself (which, all due respect my lovely jane and Wicked, was not going to be the Midwest. Snow and me are not friends.) At this time I was feeling very disgusted with myself for having followed my last two boyfriends to places and then having the relationships fall apart, so I was determined to just move where I was gonna move and Darlin could darn well follow me if he was so interested. Very long story slightly shorter, I picked Someplace, North Carolina.

Darlin, planning on getting his PhD, had applied to 3 graduate programs. One in Atlanta, Georgia . . . and two near Someplace, North Carolina. COMPLETELY INDEPENDENTLY OF ME.

I started to have an inkling at this point, that perhaps we were fated to be?

I arranged a visit to see Darlin in Denver. Phone calls and emails do not a relationship make, and we needed to figure out if something was really happening or fakey happening. I can remember stepping off the plane, nervous as hell because dude, this could either be a really fun trip or the longest freaking week of my life. And he was standing there, wearing a very long coat and smiling a little mysteriously. And I knew with a flood of relief that the week was going to be great, and that many more great weeks would follow.

Having just been surprise-dumped by a serious boyfriend, I held Darlin at arm's length for a while. And then, a few weeks after my visit, we had a phone call during which he described an instance at a party where a girl was all over him like white on rice, and said that he was glad I'd visited because if I hadn't, he might have ended up with that other girl, but since I had, he knew I was worth waiting for and blah blah blah, I totally missed that last part because OTHER GIRL??? WHAT UP, BITCH, YOU WANNA GO?? I THINK NOT, EM-EFFER, KEEP THOSE HO-ASS HANDS OFF MY MAN, OR WE GOT PROBLEMS, DO YOU HEAR ME??

The next day I called my mom and told her with a sigh - I think I know who my husband is.


MSO Rin said...

I could comment on SO many parts of this story, I think I'll just say:

HOLLA! We all be some fine-ass women w/some fine-ass husbands! And no need to actually come to fisticuffs with anyone about it getting that way. HOLLA!

Wicked M said...

Jealousy. The real proof of love. Or psychosis. I choose proof of love due to the fact that I have, on occasion, been accused of being a little jealous myself.

I love how the world leads us to where we are supposed to be...even if we do have to prod the world along a little sometimes!

p.s. Do we need to go kick that girl's biscuit or do you think that marrying Darlin' was proof enough that he is all yours? 'Cause I am all about a WW trip (fisticuffs not required).