Just Call Me Wild Thang

This is an easy one.

I’d stay in bed until Frog woke up, which is usually around 8. I’d change his diaper, wash his neck and face with a baby washcloth, and carry him into the front room, where Darlin' would be reading the paper with his coffee. I’d sit in the “sacrificial” green chair, which is the only furniture we sit on with the exorcist baby spewing all over the place, and tuck him into my lap and chat with him. Darlin' would make me my cup of coffee and maybe some toast.

At 9, I would feed the baby. After that, I would put on my workout clothes and either go for a run, sans kid, or else strap him into the stroller and take him and the dog for a walk. That would put me in the shower at a little after 10, at which point Darlin' would take a break from working and play with Frog while I got ready for the day. Once I was ready, Frog and I would go someplace – maybe the grocery to pick up ingredients for some dinners. Or a park to sit on a blanket and watch the people. To the pool, where I would let him splash in the shallow end – he loves water. Maybe to the library, so I could check out some books while he slept in the baby carrier. If I have a birthday present to buy for somebody, we might go to the mall.

I’d have to feed him at noon, but I could do that in public. We’d be home by one at the latest, so I could make lunch for Darlin' and me while the baby napped. Maybe hoagies, or some sautéed squash, or a big chef salad. We might have a glass of wine with our lunch, or maybe just a pitcher of iced tea. If it wasn’t too hot, I might serve it outside on our plastic patio furniture. Then I’d tidy up from lunch and do a little housecleaning while the baby napped – sweep the pet hair tumbleweeds off the floor, or give my houseplants some TLC. Do the requisite load of laundry for the day, maybe vacuum real quick, and then the baby’s up again.

At three, we’d sit down to nurse, and then I would read to Frog. Right now we’re reading The Chronicles of Narnia – almost done with book one. I’d help him practice sitting up, and probably take a lot of pictures of him, and maybe we’d knock on the door of the office and check on Darlin' again. Then I’d strap him in the car, and drive him and Schmupp to our little downtown, which is five minutes away by car (but we can’t walk there, drat), and then walk around the beautiful historic homes with the baby in the carrier and the dog tugging on the leash. We might swing on the swings at the park, and let the dog dig in the sand. At this point, it’s getting on to about dinner time, so we’d head home and I would make it, whatever it is, and have it baking or cooking or simmering through the 6:00 nurse. Then we’d eat, and then I’d do the dishes, and give the baby his bath, dress him in his p.j.s, and read him another story. Darlin' would finish working at about 8, at which point he’d pour us a nightcap and we would sit in the front room and read and talk, or maybe go in the t.v. room and watch a Netflix. I’d nurse the baby at 9, and then put him in his crib to sleep, and then hang out with my husband for an hour or so before going to bed myself.

Thrilling life, right?