Wednesday, May 7, 2008

My Best Physical Trait

Well. This is a somewhat cruel I Wonder for a postpartum woman to ponder (that's kind of a tongue twister, isn't it?) All of my favorite physical traits have been stretched beyond recognition lately and I'm not sure how many of them are going to bounce back (belly button? Will you ever be normal looking again?) I could go all squiffy and talk about how my uterus is my best physical trait because it just produced a handsome young darling miracle baby, but even hormonal new mommy me ain't that romantic about the big messy 9 (10) month ordeal my body just went through. Right now I'm quite pleased with my boobies, which are worthy of a Playmate of the Year, but they shouldn't count because (a) their inflated state is temporary, and (b) I have a sneaking suspicion that once my milk dries up they will become my worst trait, a pair of drooping puppies that I can tuck into my belt. So. Hmmmmm.

Well, I am going to go on the presumption that in approximately six months, all the parts of me that can be will be mostly back to normal, because I will be able to resume running and exercising in earnest after about 3 months. Therefore, if we can all cast our eyes back to pre-pregnancy, or cast our eyes forward to September or so, this is my fave physical trait:

I have good legs. Especially if we confine our gaze to the area from about eight inches above the knee to where the foot begins at the ankle. I started running (er, jogging actually) when I was 16, and though that's pretty much the only "sport" in which I have ever participated, that apparently has been enough to keep my stems in shape. My legs are fairly long - longer than my husband's, and he's taller than me by 5 inches. They look rotten in shorts and in knee length skirts, but slap me into a mini skirt and heels and I can "make them boys go Rock Rock, and they be ridin' down the block just to watch what I got."

The calves, they are shapely. The ankle, she turns just so. The knees - ok, the knees have a few scars on them from the odd tumble during a run/hike/walk down a totally obstacle-free hallway (nice legs on that girl, but she's still clumsy as hell). But in dim lighting, all scars are forgiven. The lower thighs are a bit distressing at this particular moment, but if we are casting our gaze where we are supposed to be casting our gaze (cast, bitter sleep-deprived mind, cast with all your might), we can recall that they are normally fairly toned and without cellulite (which all tends to congregate up a little higher.)

I like my legs. I tend to show them off, when I'm not gestating. Other folks may be looking at me going - damn, girl, who do you think you are, Elle McPherson? But when I see myself in the mirror, I say to myself - damn girl, who does Elle McPherson think she is?


super jane said...

after i posted my entry, i thought, "oh crap. g love is going to hate me for this one." i'm sorry.

(and for the record, my belly did shrink back but my belly button is forever funked up. i had my belly button pierced twice though, so i'm certain that had something to do with it.)

Wicked M said...

g, you really do have great gams.

And girls who have had babies? Please, please tell me that my body may return to normal if I ever do decide to get on the pregnancy/parenting bandwagon? I've been hearing far too many horror stories lately.

glove said...

Wicked M - I'll keep you posted. My belly, actually, shrunk AMAZINGLY quickly. It's still big, but now it's just fat, there isn't a ton of loose skin, and after I can exercise again I'm pretty confident it will go back to normal. I am so relieved. However, my belly button looks a little terrifying. And I don't have much hope for the boobs, once the milk goes. Hello, Victorias Secret! Prop up those puppies!

superjane - no worries. Visualizing the body I want to get back to (stretchy boobies and all) is the first step to achieving it! I WILL GET MAH LEGS BACK!!!