Tuesday, June 26, 2007

i wonder about my behind.

unfortunately, i have a pretty good idea as to what i look like from behind. we have mirrors on 3 of the bathroom walls here at my office, so every time i get done doing my thing, i am forced to look at the back of myself as i wash my hands.

let's start with my hair and work my way down.

my hair is long and falls below my shoulders. it used to be straight as a board, but over the years it is starting to get wavier and wavier, especially if i let it air dry. and that, my friends, is where the problem with my hair lies. i usually blow dry my hair in the morning, but the front of my hair receives the most heat. consequently, the front of my hair is fairly straight while the back of my hair (which is usually damp after my quick blow dry) is quite wavy. in my opinion, it just doesn't look pretty. i could cure this by taking the extra 5-7 minutes needed each morning to ensure that my hair is completely dry in both front and back. but, come on, folks. that's 5-7 whole minutes that i could be doing something more important - like sleeping. plus, i don't have anyone here at work that i need to (or want to) impress, so why bother?

like g-love i too am plagued with a cowlick. except that mine is in the very front of my head, located on the left hand side, right about my eyebrow. what causes cowlicks anyway? aren't they they most bizarre little things? whatever their origin, they suck and are little things that make a huge difference in the world of vanity.

okay, making my way down my body, the next stop naturally would be at my face. it's okay. it's fine. i look lots better when i walk into the office all freshly made up than i do when i leave at 4:30pm. by late afternoon, my face is awfully shiny and not soft looking at all. oh wait, that's the front of me. sorry...i need to keep on topic.

back to my backside. i guess that's where i land next. yep, my patooty. my sister says i have a nice butt, but i'm not so sure. it's just there. thankfully, i didn't inherit my father's flat butt. i don't have a nice, full, ghetto booty either. i'm somewhere in the middle and i'm okay with that. i hate panty lines, but most days i have them. i hate the way my curves appear in pants/skirts/etc. i don't have a nice hourglass figure; rather, i have this lumpy appearance that begins just below my stomach and continues to the tops of my thighs. i think i used to look better from behind before i had children. now, i just blame my lumpiness and even wavy hair on my kids.

that's the best thing, i suppose. while i may not be 100% satisfied with the way i look from behind (and let's not kid ourselves...not many people are), i can always blame it on having been pregnant and given birth to 2 children even if it may not be entirely true. surely those cinnabons i snarfed down last night didn't have anything to do with my lumpiness, right?


Wicked M said...

Oooh! Cinnabons! Those things are so darn good.

You have such pretty hair and I've never noticed said cowlick. Ever.

As for your buns? I'll let Jas reserve judgment on that. ;) That's his department.

G said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with the VPL issue. Yes, we hate them. Yes, we often have them. What's a busy woman to do?

PS Lumpy Schmumpy. You are svelte. Hear me? Svelte. I just saw you (well, 9 months ago) and I know whereof I speak.