Worried Silly

I worry about really laughable things. Don’t get me wrong: I worry about serious things, too, but it’s too frightening to type any of those worries out—I don’t want to actually face them. I’ll just lay out my innumerable inane worrisome thoughts in a grand gesture of denial and frivolity instead. Here they are, in no particular order.

Did I remember to put on deodorant this morning? I suddenly cannot remember. Will I have time to re-watch all my DVDs of “Arrested Development” before the new season comes out at the end of the month? If I don’t, will I feel left out when everybody I know has binge-watched it except me? Are my summer clothes going to fit when I finally get to pull them out of storage in June? Will any of the seniors’ feelings be hurt if I don’t go to Graduation? Or worse: what if nobody at all notices if I don’t go? What was that crazy noise my work computer made yesterday? Are ants going to infest my office? I’m pretty sure I drop a few crumbs of my breakfast Lärabar every now and then and we do have an ant problem in the building. How long is it going to take me tonight to figure out what to wear tomorrow so I can pack my bag for the gym before bed?  What books should I pick out to take on our July road trip so The Boy’s not bored when I read out loud to keep us both awake? Are we too old for the Matched trilogy? Are we too wimpy for the Millennium trilogy? If I have a piece of chocolate at 9:30P, will it keep me from being able to fall asleep at 10:15P? Or worse: what if I forget to have a piece of chocolate at all today? Are we ruining the carpet in the home office by not having a plastic mat thingie under the rolling desk chair? When am I ever going to find brown knee-high boots that are both cute and affordable? Are my legs simply too pale to wear shorts in public? Did I wait so long to make a haircut appointment that my stylist will be on vacation and I’ll have terrible hair when I visit Wicked M next month? If the orange juice smelled and looked fine, was it still OK to use in a recipe even though the “best by” date on the bottle was last week? What if nobody is reading this Wonder? Or worse: what if everybody is and they think I’m not funny?