**Sorority Girl Programming Note!**

Monday, 3 March 2008 (when the Hades did it get to be March? Nobody cleared that w/me, I'll tell ya!), is National Panhellenic Badge Day.

Wear 'em, ladies!

Wonder no more. Here's what I envy (today).

· People who aren’t crazy-busy at work (so you’re off the hook, super jane).
· People who aren’t in the thick of searching for five new co-workers.
· People with short, chic haircuts (so you’re soon to be on the hook, Wicked M).
· People whose husbands don’t have bad colds.
· People whose homes are cleaned by someone else.
· People who have the disposable income to pay for said someone else to clean said homes.
· People who already know what they’re having for dinner (so you’re off the hook, G Love).
· People who get to go out for dinner.
· People who have balmy, sunny weather out their windows (so you’re on the hook, Kat).
· People who put time, effort, and creativity into their posts (so y’all are all on the hook, WW!).

today's envies

i had emailed my fellow wonder women late this afternoon telling them that i wouldn't be able to post today. i'm having some serious issues with my job and i was so stressed out today that i didn't eat. all day. not even a dip inside the candy jar which is huge for me. but tonight, as i hear my girls splashing around in the bathtub i thought i would take a break from folding laundry to write my post. because if ever i were envious of anyone, today would be the day.

my bff tara and i talk about this topic frequently. mostly, we are envious of others' money and material goods. aren't we all though? both tara and i have nice houses with nice things furnishing them. we have food on the table and a few extra yummy goodies stored in the pantry. they are things we don't need, but want. and we are blessed to be able to have them. there are more days than not though when we turn to what we wished we had. we look at our sisters and envy their vacations...and their clothes...and their vehicles. we look at our friends and envy that they are in occupations that they love. when will we find all of those things that others around us seem to have? it's all human nature, i suppose - to want what everyone else around us has. to see the blessings given to others while taking our own for granted.

let me bring it back to today though. who do i envy today?
1) millionaires who did absolutely nothing in order to acheive their wealth.
2) people who know their jobs inside and out and feel comfortable in their professional shoes.
3) mothers who enjoy cooking and have no problem whipping up a healthy, home cooked meal in minutes.
4) homeowners with the decorating style to make their homes look like the pages of 'better homes and garden'
5) moms who don't have to yell, "PLEASE DO NOT SLAM THE DOOR. WATCH YOUR SISTER'S FINGERS!" twenty times while trying to type on the computer for 10 minutes.
6) wicked m for the sheer fact that she is probably relaxing at home and eating cheetos right now instead of shouting orders to "PLEASE STOP SLAMMING THE DOOR!" i long for the quiet nights i used to have sometimes.
7) mso rin for her enthusiasm - her constant enthusiasm for life. after my day today, do you think you could ship me a package of your zest, rin? i can really use it right now.
8) g-love for gentleness. she's got a growing baby inside of her belly and i miss the gentleness of how i felt as a new mother. there are nights like tonight when my day has been so rough that i don't have the patience, the sympathy, the love that i need for my own babies.

yes, friends today was a very trying day and i think i envy nearly everyone who isn't in my shoes. but that's today. and i certainly hope that tomorrow is a different story.

I Wonder What I Envy?

Envy. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s fillintheblank, but who doesn’t? Who doesn’t look at that green green grass over there, and forget to notice her own garden? Well, me, because I’m perfect.

Just kidding. I covet, all over the place.

I covet super jane’s faith. Wicked M’s photography skills. MSO’s wit.

I covet Darlin’s focus and quiet certainty. Sass’s easy attitude. Schmitten’s naptime. Schmupp’s boundless energy.

I covet a non-pregnant woman’s wine and martinis and Brie and cold cuts and stomach muscles. Her quick and coordinated body. Her usefulness. I envy a mother her labor experience, done, lived through, a mark on her history, a moment of triumph, her children the badge of bravery. I envy a single and childless woman’s freedom to go anywhere, live anywhere, be anyone.

I covet the old-marrieds’ years together. I covet the newly-engageds’ enthusiasm.

I want to be a college student again, and have my 20s to look forward to. I want to be 90 years old, a great-grandmother, and have a wonderful life to look back on.

I want to be rich, and know a luxurious life on yachts in the Caribbean and ski resorts in the Alps. I want to be poor, and know that I have nothing at all to lose. I want to be British and have a great accent. I want to be Heidi Klum and have a great body. I want to live in St. John and flourish on conch fritters and Coronas.

I envy the actor, musician, Peace Corps missionary, writer, exotic locale tour guide, and naturalist her career. I envy investment bankers, CEOs, and Steve Jobs their money. I am jealous of George Clooney’s, John Corbett’s, and Paul Bettany’s girlfriends.

In almost every life I see, I notice something that I would like to have. Some days, when I’m not feelin’ the mental health, it makes me a little sick inside to think of what they have that I don’t. Most days, when I’m feeling good, this becomes an opportunity to appreciate someone else’s life choices, their downfalls and windfalls.

I know there’s a lot growing in my own garden that others look upon with a sigh of desire. A happy marriage, in the first bloom of love. A loving pair of animals, in perfect health. A home of our own. A large and loving family, both in blood and in law. A new soul, about to be born, whose body I created inside my own. A lovely blue room waiting for him.

These are the seeds I sowed. And I can sigh with pleasure and a little longing when I look at somebody else’s little patch of grass, but I know deep down that if I were standing there, I’d be looking at what I’d left behind and sighing just as loudly.

I Wonder What I Envy

I am not typically a jealous person (unless you are some woman trying to put the moves on my husband -- then? You are dead). I do think that we are friends with certain people for certain reasons and I believe that we also seek out friends who possess qualities, beliefs, experiences, etc. that are different from our own. In finding these friends, we forge strong relationships, learn from them and we become better people. I believe that each Wonder Woman has things about her that are uniquely her own and I love those things about her. And sometimes I am a little bit envious.

I have always been envious of super jane's knowledge that she would always be a mother. I still distinctly remember having a conversation with her while we were still in college -- we were talking about her older sister's children -- and super jane went on and on about how much she loved those kids and about how she could not wait to have children of her own. I was so envious of her surety and confidence. super jane is one of those women that motherhood comes easily to and she wears her badge of motherhood with true pride. She excels at it in every way. super jane is also someone who handles every situation with dignity and grace. She is patient, faithful, and compassionate. Even in the face of extreme adversity, she can see the forest for the trees and she can see the clouds breaking in the distance. She is an eternal optimist and for that I am truly envious.

MSO Rin makes me green with envy for her intellectual wit and her easy laugh. She is rarely met with an obstacle that she cannot immediately see past and she crushes through tough situations with a strength that I am not sure she quite knows she possesses. She is a get-up-and-go kind of girl and she rolls with the punches like no one else I have met. She is a truly thoughtful advice giver and always finds time for her friends. She makes a true effort to stay in touch with distant friends and she is one of the most sarcastically mean (in a nice way!) people I know. She makes people laugh at the drop of a hat and she has wisdom beyond her years. MSO Rin also has a truly unique perspective on the world and I am grateful for the times that she has enlightened me from her viewpoint.

g love is someone that I envy for her many gifts. She is a multi-hyphenate-performer (singer, dancer, actress, etc.) and she is truly a wonder. Her sweet voice is one that I remember singing sweetly at a friend's wedding and at sorority events in college. Her ability to take a piece of music, a poem, or a monologue and completely inhabit the piece is something that makes me green with envy. Her gypsy soul is something that I relate to, but her ability to just go do the things she wants is what amazes me. She never sees the "real world" as an obstacle to her doing what she loves, being where she loves, and living the way she truly wants. In the few months, I have watched her go from a semi-carefree married woman to a woman having a surprise baby. She has handled that situation with an enthusiasm and gusto that I am in awe of. If it had been me that that had happened to, I would probably still be on my bathroom floor crying. g love just pulled herself up by the bootstraps and carried on -- all the while truly seeing the glorious situation for what it is -- a blessing.

Each of these women is a blessing to me. I had to stop myself from writing a million words about each of them in order to keep this post to a readable length! These Wonder Women truly are remarkable. I am lucky to count them as friends, to know them as they truly are in real life, and to be able to learn from them on a daily basis.

p.s. I have every intention of writing the funny things I am envious of about each of these women as they post their entries this week. So, stay tuned because there is some funny stuff coming in the comments section!

... Except It Wasn't Even a Date, So Why Am I Complaining?

Me? Not a big dater. First kiss: with a boy (who may very well be a felon now) I was sporadically “going with” (it was the late ‘80s), outside my house at midday, on a dare, at twelve. First boyfriend: a boy in my church youth group, whom I had to chase for a summer first, at seventeen. There were no dates that I can recall before JBar and I became a couple—we just … became a couple. And there were no dates at all, with anyone, between first kiss and first boyfriend (no other kisses, either, so this is getting depressing. Let’s move on).

I may have mentioned (a time or two or twenty-five) that I was once hopeless over a boy (he’ll never be a man, or even a guy, in my book) who shared my birthday. He was the first person I’d met in my life who carried that dubious honor—it only made me swoon for him more. We were together a lot in the theatre building for classes and shows, and he was two years my junior. And so charming and beautiful and mischievous and (for most of my unrequitedness for him) taken with a silly little Twit Barbie of a girl (she’ll never be a woman, or even a chick, in my book) with whom he had the standard college break-up-make-up drama. We had kissed, once, around Homecoming, but not much else happened all of Fall Term outside of the electricity that sparked between us whenever we were together. Oh, yeah—he called me once over Christmas Break, and sent me a card after I sent him one. Big doin’s.

After Formal Recruitment that year, during one of the longer break-up times w/Twit Barbie, it became clear that his roommate had a thing for one of my roommates. My roommate wasn’t quite sure she was interested in his roommate, but she knew how much I felt for P. and so a double-date was arranged, mostly by the roommates. Hey! Let’s all four go out to dinner at the new Mexican place in Upper M. … on the birthday! Genius! Yay! A double-date! P. and I had been flirting and bickering and deeply conversing and whatevering for months now, and he had always known how much I liked him; I was so excited that he must finally like me back.

I still remember exactly what I was wearing and how nervous I was as K. and I waited for the boys (if anyone else in the world will always be a boy, it’s P.’s roommate) to pick us up. From the moment they pulled into the sorority-house parking lot, we both knew something was … off. J. was being way too nice to me (he was usually only nice to K. and a sarcastic prick to the rest of the universe), and P. was way too chatty and giggly. K. sat up front w/J. and spent a lot of the drive looking around her seat at me with “What the heck is going on here?” glances, while I shot back my best “He’s freaking me out but I think he might hold my hand any second now so I think it’ll be OK” eyebrow raise. (He didn’t, by the way.)

By the time we got to the Mexican restaurant, I had figured it out. P. was drunk. As in six-pack-of-Bud-Light-by-himself-in-the-space-of-thirty-minutes drunk. And at the dinner table he proceeded to turn from the kind of drunk where everything’s fun and funny and happy and "Ooh, isn’t this the best salsa you’ve ever had?" to the kind of drunk where screaming “Hey, garcon! I mean, chico!” and snapping your fingers after the server is not only acceptable but everyone else in the restaurant should make sure to see and hear you do it. The rumor was that this Mexican restaurant served alcohol but didn’t check ID (very important to collegiates who live on a dry campus and the now-obvious reason we went there)—the reality was that the restaurant didn’t yet have its liquor license. Así que ningunas cervezas. Happy birthday???

I had it so bad for this boy that after he yelled at the server a second time and after K. and I went to the bathroom and she could only say, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, are you OK?” while I stared at myself in the mirror, focusing on my flaming cheeks—I don’t know that I’ve ever actually been so mortified, really—and after he almost passed out onto the table before our food even arrived … after all of that, I had it so bad for him that I think I went into mild shock over his actions. I went numb. I don’t remember anything else about that night. I really don’t. Not a single thing. It’s like our food arrived and I was instantly transported into the future.

And then days later, still walking around like a bit of a zombie, I heard that he didn’t know I thought it had actually been a date and that he hadn’t thought it was a date. I continued to like him (a little less unrequitedly) for almost an entire calendar year after that.

Yay for dating! Who else is glad we Wonder Women never, ever, ever have to do it again?

romance in aisle 5

thankfully, i haven't really had any truly bizarre dates. i dated just a bit in high school and most of those dates were actually pretty nice. i started dating super jas in december of my freshman year of college, so i didn't really have the opportunity to "date" boys before he came along. i liked to flirt with the boys in college and dance and hang out and kiss them in the fraternity houses, but i never got serious with any of them. besides, most dates in college consisted of a walk to the point on campus that overlooked the river. not too much can go wrong on those dates. i am very impressed with g-love though. she went on an actual, real live, honest to goodness date in college. i gotta give the girl props for that!

my worst date ever wasn't really that bad. i had a major, major crush on this boy in high school named thad. i was a sophomore and he was a senior. and he was the valedictorian and the homecoming king and a total cutie with blonde hair and blue eyes. a lot of girls wanted to date this boy and so when a girl in my geometry class asked if i wanted her to set me up with him, i responded with an enthusiastic "yes!"

he picked me up one friday night in his truck which was fine enough. i lived in southern indiana, folks, and it's nearly against the law to not own a truck. plus, i drove one myself, so i had no right to judge. we drove to a town 30 minutes away to grab a bite to eat. we ate pizza over strained conversation. he was really quite shy and i was really quite shocked that i was ON A DATE WITH THAD, so the conversation never really flowed for us. i, too, made several trips to the bathroom for a teeth check and - dare i say this - i actually flossed with a strand of my hair. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i was that desperate to get the pizza out of my teeth. besides, i was determined to kiss thad (yes, i kiss on the first date) and wanted to make sure the moment was perfect.

we had an hour or so before our movie began and this is where the date took a bit of an odd turn. instead of suggesting that we sit and chat at the pizza place, or walk around the city, or play arcade games at the theatre, thad suggests that we go to wal-mart to kill some time. i mean, i knew we lived in small towns and that going to the city was a treat, but wal-mart is still wal-mart, people, no matter how you try and cut it. but, what was i to do? i was on a dream date with my dream boat, so i obliged.

we perused the aisles of wal-mart for a good 30-45 minutes...looking at this...checking out that. he was a big outdoors man, so we hit the fishing and hunting aisle to check out the latest gear. i acted interested because i was ON A DATE WITH THAD and yet my heart just wasn't into the boy.

eventually, we made our way to the movie and had a good time. i even got my good-night kiss that i had been hoping for. we never really clicked, but we dated for a month or two, i think. (which, in my dating history, is like forever.) obviously, he wasn't the boy i daydreamed about in geometry class, but it was fun while it lasted. the kicker is that a good friend of mine ('hammond' for the ww) went out on a date with him later that year. and wouldn't you know it, he took her to wal-mart too! apparently, the boy finds all the romance in aisle 5.