Friday, September 28, 2007
I Wonder How I Ended Up with All This ...
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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Work Didn't Used to Suck
I have had some pretty fantastic jobs in my life. These are jobs that I would literally do even if I won $300 million in the Powerball next week. And then there are the jobs I’ve had that actually pay the bills.
In category #1 fall the following jobs:
1 – Naturalist
Wake up time: 7:30am. Group breakfast is at 7:45 and you can’t be late.
Uniform: Anything comfortable. It will get dirty.
Office: The outdoors. Day and night, rain and sun, winter or summer.
Duties: Teach children of various ages about the outdoors. Play games and sing songs and do skits; lead ascents up a high ropes course or climbing wall, or out on an actual mountain; act the part of a pioneer woman in full dress, making candles in a log cabin; pull out authentic pioneer tools, a snake, a compass, an herb, and teach children about them; lead horseback rides, kayak trips, mountain bike excursions, camping trips, white water rafting adventures.
Downsides: You get paid $250 a week, which is barely enough to cover student loans and car insurance and other vital bills. There are no health benefits. Because you live with the dozen or so people you work with, the rumor mill is magnified ten thousand fold, and there is no privacy.
Perks: Work follows the school year, so lots of holiday time off, and time off in general. There are lots of international staff, which makes life interesting and also gives you people to crash with if you ever go to England/ Australia/ Scotland/ New Zealand/ South Africa. Everyone you work with is your age, full of energy, and loves what they do. Every day is spent outdoors, teaching and learning and playing with horses and ropes courses and other great stuff that most people pay a ton of money to do on their fleeting weekends out of the office.
2 - Actress
Wake up time: 9:30am. Rehearsal starts at 10, and goes through the day and night. **During the run of the show – you gotta be ready to go by 6pm, but the rest of the day is yours.
Uniform: Anything that approximates your onstage costume.
Office: The theatre. With occasional forays into antique stores and Goodwill to find set and costume pieces.
Duties: Memorize your lines, learn your blocking, perform your part, with feeling.
Downsides: You get paid $175 a week, which means you use your charge card a lot. There are no health benefits. Sometimes you have to deal with divas. You have to find a new job every couple of months, when your show closes.
Perks: When the show starts running, you work about 3 hours a day. It is fun. It is creative. It is art. Theatre people are wild, fun, and sometimes melodramatic, and always interesting.
3 – Baker
Wake up time: 5:30 am. This definitely sucks, but your day is done by 3pm, which is soooo great.
Uniform: something clean. Doesn’t matter what, you’ll have an apron on top.
Office: the bakery. You are often alone, with just the radio and smell of cinnamon rolls baking to keep you company. It is wonderful, even in the early morning hours.
Duties: Bake things. Solicit business. Flirt with customers. Purchase fresh produce and baking supplies. Read recipe books and try new things. Keep your hands out of the cookies if you can.
Downsides: You get paid $7 an hour, which is just enough to pay the bills until your car has a $2000 breakdown and then you are up the creek and out comes el chargeo cardo again.
Perks: Your schedule is flexible. It’s just you and your boss, and she’s great. It’s creative. You get off at 3:00 every day, only work 3 hours on Saturdays, and have Sundays and Mondays off, which makes your weeks fly by and your weekends feel miles long.
Here is category #2.
1,2,3,4,5 . . . – Office Manager, Human Resources Professional, FITB with your own well paying corporate profession
Wake up time: 6:15 am.
Uniform: Business casual. Yes, you have to iron for this job.
Office: The office. Climate controlled, the hum of electronics, if you’re lucky (I am, right now) you get a window. (I’ve also avoided ever working from a cubicle thus far, lucky me.)
Duties: Create excuses for paperwork, fill it out, keep it filed. Come up with made up words like “strategic planning” and “total rewards management” and “performance index” to make yourself sound smarter and more essential to the success of the company. Inflate a few hours worth of work into mounds of ridiculous time consuming paperwork to please some corporate people, who prefer quantity over quality. Listen to people complain about stuff. Write budgets, policy, safety audit checklists, or whatever falls in your scope of work, and then squeeze in some creativity by fiddling with the formatting and throwing in some clip art.
Downsides: Whether it’s a mind-numbing routine task or really complicated new project, it’s rarely interesting. The corporate world owns your time, doling out a vacation day here and there with a miserly grunt. Some of the politics are just beyond comprehension.
Perks: You get paid enough to pay all your bills, eat well, contribute to a retirement fund, do necessary home improvements, travel. You can make sound investments in your future, afford to have children and support them, take trips, or classes, or any of the other wonderful experiences that money can buy you. Sometimes you get to write a blog and nobody seems to mind, as long as you get your tasks done on time.
I *miss* my old jobs. I grieve for them. I miss the day to day joy and fulfillment of my former work. Each one had its problems, biggest of which was always the non-livable wage - and I definitely like knowing that at this point in my life I am able to make good financial decisions that will secure our future happiness. But often, in this office, under the drone of these lights, with my fingers on the keys and my eyes on the screen, my mind is a million miles away, cheering a kid up the climbing wall, or paddling a kayak, or making tres leches cakes with NPR chattering in the background, or blinking under the hot lights of a white hot sparkling stage. And I sigh, and say woe is me, and then hitch up my bra strap under my business casual top, pour myself a cup of tea, and try to suck it up and pretend to like it. Because that's just, well, just what you do, isn't it?
In category #1 fall the following jobs:
1 – Naturalist
Wake up time: 7:30am. Group breakfast is at 7:45 and you can’t be late.
Uniform: Anything comfortable. It will get dirty.
Office: The outdoors. Day and night, rain and sun, winter or summer.
Duties: Teach children of various ages about the outdoors. Play games and sing songs and do skits; lead ascents up a high ropes course or climbing wall, or out on an actual mountain; act the part of a pioneer woman in full dress, making candles in a log cabin; pull out authentic pioneer tools, a snake, a compass, an herb, and teach children about them; lead horseback rides, kayak trips, mountain bike excursions, camping trips, white water rafting adventures.
Downsides: You get paid $250 a week, which is barely enough to cover student loans and car insurance and other vital bills. There are no health benefits. Because you live with the dozen or so people you work with, the rumor mill is magnified ten thousand fold, and there is no privacy.
Perks: Work follows the school year, so lots of holiday time off, and time off in general. There are lots of international staff, which makes life interesting and also gives you people to crash with if you ever go to England/ Australia/ Scotland/ New Zealand/ South Africa. Everyone you work with is your age, full of energy, and loves what they do. Every day is spent outdoors, teaching and learning and playing with horses and ropes courses and other great stuff that most people pay a ton of money to do on their fleeting weekends out of the office.
2 - Actress
Wake up time: 9:30am. Rehearsal starts at 10, and goes through the day and night. **During the run of the show – you gotta be ready to go by 6pm, but the rest of the day is yours.
Uniform: Anything that approximates your onstage costume.
Office: The theatre. With occasional forays into antique stores and Goodwill to find set and costume pieces.
Duties: Memorize your lines, learn your blocking, perform your part, with feeling.
Downsides: You get paid $175 a week, which means you use your charge card a lot. There are no health benefits. Sometimes you have to deal with divas. You have to find a new job every couple of months, when your show closes.
Perks: When the show starts running, you work about 3 hours a day. It is fun. It is creative. It is art. Theatre people are wild, fun, and sometimes melodramatic, and always interesting.
3 – Baker
Wake up time: 5:30 am. This definitely sucks, but your day is done by 3pm, which is soooo great.
Uniform: something clean. Doesn’t matter what, you’ll have an apron on top.
Office: the bakery. You are often alone, with just the radio and smell of cinnamon rolls baking to keep you company. It is wonderful, even in the early morning hours.
Duties: Bake things. Solicit business. Flirt with customers. Purchase fresh produce and baking supplies. Read recipe books and try new things. Keep your hands out of the cookies if you can.
Downsides: You get paid $7 an hour, which is just enough to pay the bills until your car has a $2000 breakdown and then you are up the creek and out comes el chargeo cardo again.
Perks: Your schedule is flexible. It’s just you and your boss, and she’s great. It’s creative. You get off at 3:00 every day, only work 3 hours on Saturdays, and have Sundays and Mondays off, which makes your weeks fly by and your weekends feel miles long.
Here is category #2.
1,2,3,4,5 . . . – Office Manager, Human Resources Professional, FITB with your own well paying corporate profession
Wake up time: 6:15 am.
Uniform: Business casual. Yes, you have to iron for this job.
Office: The office. Climate controlled, the hum of electronics, if you’re lucky (I am, right now) you get a window. (I’ve also avoided ever working from a cubicle thus far, lucky me.)
Duties: Create excuses for paperwork, fill it out, keep it filed. Come up with made up words like “strategic planning” and “total rewards management” and “performance index” to make yourself sound smarter and more essential to the success of the company. Inflate a few hours worth of work into mounds of ridiculous time consuming paperwork to please some corporate people, who prefer quantity over quality. Listen to people complain about stuff. Write budgets, policy, safety audit checklists, or whatever falls in your scope of work, and then squeeze in some creativity by fiddling with the formatting and throwing in some clip art.
Downsides: Whether it’s a mind-numbing routine task or really complicated new project, it’s rarely interesting. The corporate world owns your time, doling out a vacation day here and there with a miserly grunt. Some of the politics are just beyond comprehension.
Perks: You get paid enough to pay all your bills, eat well, contribute to a retirement fund, do necessary home improvements, travel. You can make sound investments in your future, afford to have children and support them, take trips, or classes, or any of the other wonderful experiences that money can buy you. Sometimes you get to write a blog and nobody seems to mind, as long as you get your tasks done on time.
I *miss* my old jobs. I grieve for them. I miss the day to day joy and fulfillment of my former work. Each one had its problems, biggest of which was always the non-livable wage - and I definitely like knowing that at this point in my life I am able to make good financial decisions that will secure our future happiness. But often, in this office, under the drone of these lights, with my fingers on the keys and my eyes on the screen, my mind is a million miles away, cheering a kid up the climbing wall, or paddling a kayak, or making tres leches cakes with NPR chattering in the background, or blinking under the hot lights of a white hot sparkling stage. And I sigh, and say woe is me, and then hitch up my bra strap under my business casual top, pour myself a cup of tea, and try to suck it up and pretend to like it. Because that's just, well, just what you do, isn't it?
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Work? It sucks.
Honestly, I don't have to wonder about why work sucks. It just does. I mean, it's work, right? One of the most annoying but true statements is that they call work work for a reason and that if it were fun, they would call it fun. But they call it work because it's work. Or something like that. I don't know, I'm at work right now and my brain is on backwards.
How could work not suck? If you're like most of us, you're at someone else's beck and call, you're working for less than you probably should be, and you probably don't enjoy what you do all that much. You get told when to arrive and when you can leave. You only get so much time for lunch and you're dealing with office politics of some sort. You probably have some co-workers that annoy you to no end and you can't tell people what you are really thinking. Ever. Basically, it's a stifling environment that keeps us all from doing things that we enjoy. Which sucks.
I think work isn't fun mostly because it isn't supposed to be. But why is that? I hate that I don't know anyone who truly LOVES their job. Meaning, I don't know anyone whose passion is their job and the one person I did know who was following her passion is now hating it because it has become work. Which sucks. It's a vicious, sucky cycle.
I guess I just always think about how many hours a day I'm wasting away behind a desk and answering to someone else who couldn't care less about me outside of the four walls of this big office building. I dream about all of the things I would rather be doing -- sleeping, talking to friends, breathing fresh air, taking pictures, reading a good book, watching television, traveling with my husband, eating Cheetos by the pool -- instead of being at work.
I think a lot of people view work as an albatross around their neck and I hate that too. I mean, we're all working to pay bills. The job is a means to an end, I suppose, which is eating and having the big, flashy box spring to life when you hit the power button. I can't help but think that all of the hours we're spending at work are such a waste in the long run. I mean, I spend more hours at work a day than I spend doing things that are fun and that would enrich my life in some way.
I appreciate having a job that allows me to pay my bills, do something to help the world, and to help pay for some of the fun things that I really do enjoy. I just hate that I feel like so many hours of work hardly translates into the few hours I get to actually enjoy myself during the rest of my life. So, work? Can suck it.
How could work not suck? If you're like most of us, you're at someone else's beck and call, you're working for less than you probably should be, and you probably don't enjoy what you do all that much. You get told when to arrive and when you can leave. You only get so much time for lunch and you're dealing with office politics of some sort. You probably have some co-workers that annoy you to no end and you can't tell people what you are really thinking. Ever. Basically, it's a stifling environment that keeps us all from doing things that we enjoy. Which sucks.
I think work isn't fun mostly because it isn't supposed to be. But why is that? I hate that I don't know anyone who truly LOVES their job. Meaning, I don't know anyone whose passion is their job and the one person I did know who was following her passion is now hating it because it has become work. Which sucks. It's a vicious, sucky cycle.
I guess I just always think about how many hours a day I'm wasting away behind a desk and answering to someone else who couldn't care less about me outside of the four walls of this big office building. I dream about all of the things I would rather be doing -- sleeping, talking to friends, breathing fresh air, taking pictures, reading a good book, watching television, traveling with my husband, eating Cheetos by the pool -- instead of being at work.
I think a lot of people view work as an albatross around their neck and I hate that too. I mean, we're all working to pay bills. The job is a means to an end, I suppose, which is eating and having the big, flashy box spring to life when you hit the power button. I can't help but think that all of the hours we're spending at work are such a waste in the long run. I mean, I spend more hours at work a day than I spend doing things that are fun and that would enrich my life in some way.
I appreciate having a job that allows me to pay my bills, do something to help the world, and to help pay for some of the fun things that I really do enjoy. I just hate that I feel like so many hours of work hardly translates into the few hours I get to actually enjoy myself during the rest of my life. So, work? Can suck it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I Wonder Why Work Stinks
Wicked M and I have joked many times over the years about our bosses/places of employ: “Don’t they know I have socializing to do/online shopping to complete/naps to take? I keep getting things to do as if they actually expect me to earn my pay!”
Well, I can firmly blame my lack of consistent posting since August on work. And that stinks, b/c I looove you guys! And I love having the time to wonder over things and share my ideas. And I love being able to sip my coffee and catch up on every post and every comment—here and on my friends' personal blogs.
So I can say with a great deal of certainty: work stinks b/c we are not allowed to goof off. Now, there are some jobs (professional comedian, pastry chef, finger-painter) where your flights of fancy are pretty much what keeps you in your livelihood. But like super j said, unless you have one of those jobs (don’t slag on models, super j! Modeling is HARD! As we will discuss soon when we wonder about “America’s Next Top Model.”), you’re pretty much stuck answering to someone else, doing things you don’t really want to be doing, and searching for someone with whom to complain about it.
If everyone who clocks in (literally or figuratively) were allowed to do so at his/her own leisure, and were given the chance to accomplish a set amount of work for each day but were allowed to use the other time as he/she saw fit, I think we’d have a lot fewer sick days. I’m proud of super j for not lying about that—I’ve done it once and it felt very sinful. If I knew that I wouldn’t have to sneak to do my post or check on what Television Without Pity snarked about last night’s premiere of “Heroes,” I’d be much more eager about leaving the house and the TV. I’m sure that all of us are pretty productive people—our priorities just might not be 100% with work all the time.
I know that there are corporations who encourage (and sometimes even mandate) afternoon naptime—but we can’t all work there. My justification for making work stink less is that I’m not a smoker. And therefore, the four ten-minute breaks I’d take during the day to step out for a cigarette are instead used to goof off. I refuse to feel guilty about it, most of the time.
Except at the beginning of the school year. That’s an entirely different kind of work-stink. I return to you today from the beyond, confident that my goofing-off time is returning to me after four loooong weeks of no time for even thinking about goofing off. How have you been? Missed you! Love you!
Well, I can firmly blame my lack of consistent posting since August on work. And that stinks, b/c I looove you guys! And I love having the time to wonder over things and share my ideas. And I love being able to sip my coffee and catch up on every post and every comment—here and on my friends' personal blogs.
So I can say with a great deal of certainty: work stinks b/c we are not allowed to goof off. Now, there are some jobs (professional comedian, pastry chef, finger-painter) where your flights of fancy are pretty much what keeps you in your livelihood. But like super j said, unless you have one of those jobs (don’t slag on models, super j! Modeling is HARD! As we will discuss soon when we wonder about “America’s Next Top Model.”), you’re pretty much stuck answering to someone else, doing things you don’t really want to be doing, and searching for someone with whom to complain about it.
If everyone who clocks in (literally or figuratively) were allowed to do so at his/her own leisure, and were given the chance to accomplish a set amount of work for each day but were allowed to use the other time as he/she saw fit, I think we’d have a lot fewer sick days. I’m proud of super j for not lying about that—I’ve done it once and it felt very sinful. If I knew that I wouldn’t have to sneak to do my post or check on what Television Without Pity snarked about last night’s premiere of “Heroes,” I’d be much more eager about leaving the house and the TV. I’m sure that all of us are pretty productive people—our priorities just might not be 100% with work all the time.
I know that there are corporations who encourage (and sometimes even mandate) afternoon naptime—but we can’t all work there. My justification for making work stink less is that I’m not a smoker. And therefore, the four ten-minute breaks I’d take during the day to step out for a cigarette are instead used to goof off. I refuse to feel guilty about it, most of the time.
Except at the beginning of the school year. That’s an entirely different kind of work-stink. I return to you today from the beyond, confident that my goofing-off time is returning to me after four loooong weeks of no time for even thinking about goofing off. How have you been? Missed you! Love you!
Monday, September 24, 2007
i wonder why work sucks.
it's monday and i didn't sleep well last night and i'd rather be doing anything else in the world besides what i'm (supposed to be) doing - work. my colleague and i joked this morning that all weekend we sat around thinking, "boy, do i wish it were monday. i just can't wait to get back to work." it provided us some laughs, but not enough to make up for the fact that we are indeed stuck here for 8.5 hours today. i almost called into work sick this morning, but decided not to. i haven't worked a full work week since last month, so i felt a little guilty. besides, what would i say when everyone would inevitably ask me what was wrong with me? i can't stand to lie, so i dragged my tired behind (or biscuit - that still makes me laugh, wicked m!) out of bed and into my office.
does any gal out there really like her job? i mean, really, truly, can't-imagine-not-working love her job? okay, perhaps there are a few out there who can't imagine not working, but she's probably a model or sports star or something like that. what about us typical gals? why does work suck so much for us?
my job is okay and i don't loathe it, but it still sucks because, let's face it, work sucks. it requires us to get out of bed early and actually use our brains to think about something for 8 hrs. there are some days when my mind is super clear and can race through any given task with little effort or resistance. but then there are other days (like today) when it takes every ounce of energy i can muster in order to run a report.
the worst things about my job are the stress and the fact that i'm not with my family. i wouldn't say that my job is totally high stress, but there is a fair amount of it. every day i have these panic moments when i think, "ohmygosh, i think i just reallllly messed up someone's account." and my heart always beats a mile a minute when i download my reports from the state. i'm terrified i will do something wrong and end up costing the university tons of money. plus, students can get a bit testy when you're talking dollars with them. i always love it when those sweet, young students drop the f-bomb in my office. that always makes for a lovely day.
my daughters are notorious for loading on the guilt when i walk out the door each morning. leah is usually the first one up and we're able to spend a bit of time together before i head out the door. today, she sat with me while i ate my breakfast and then sat on my bathroom floor and colored me pictures of kittens while i showered. and nearly every day, she'll hug me tight around my neck, tell me she loves me, and then asks if i could please take her to school. which i can't. and that sucks.
typically, alana wakes up right as i'm heading out the door. she doesn't say much in the morning, but does love to snuggle. she'll walk out of her room and yell "MOMMMMMY!" i'll hold her for a few minutes on the couch and inevitably super jas will have to peel her off of me as she screams and yells "MOMMMMMMY" and tears roll down her cheeks. most days, i arrive at work a few minutes late, but i don't mind. there are much more important things in life like snuggling with your sleepy baby or coloring kittens drinking milk in a coloring book than being at my desk by 8am.
unfortunately, work is something that we all have to do unless we've won the powerball. we put up with the crap and the stress and the guilt of it all to pay our bills and make our way through life. it's a fact of life but, that still doesn't mean that it can't suck, right?
does any gal out there really like her job? i mean, really, truly, can't-imagine-not-working love her job? okay, perhaps there are a few out there who can't imagine not working, but she's probably a model or sports star or something like that. what about us typical gals? why does work suck so much for us?
my job is okay and i don't loathe it, but it still sucks because, let's face it, work sucks. it requires us to get out of bed early and actually use our brains to think about something for 8 hrs. there are some days when my mind is super clear and can race through any given task with little effort or resistance. but then there are other days (like today) when it takes every ounce of energy i can muster in order to run a report.
the worst things about my job are the stress and the fact that i'm not with my family. i wouldn't say that my job is totally high stress, but there is a fair amount of it. every day i have these panic moments when i think, "ohmygosh, i think i just reallllly messed up someone's account." and my heart always beats a mile a minute when i download my reports from the state. i'm terrified i will do something wrong and end up costing the university tons of money. plus, students can get a bit testy when you're talking dollars with them. i always love it when those sweet, young students drop the f-bomb in my office. that always makes for a lovely day.
my daughters are notorious for loading on the guilt when i walk out the door each morning. leah is usually the first one up and we're able to spend a bit of time together before i head out the door. today, she sat with me while i ate my breakfast and then sat on my bathroom floor and colored me pictures of kittens while i showered. and nearly every day, she'll hug me tight around my neck, tell me she loves me, and then asks if i could please take her to school. which i can't. and that sucks.
typically, alana wakes up right as i'm heading out the door. she doesn't say much in the morning, but does love to snuggle. she'll walk out of her room and yell "MOMMMMMY!" i'll hold her for a few minutes on the couch and inevitably super jas will have to peel her off of me as she screams and yells "MOMMMMMMY" and tears roll down her cheeks. most days, i arrive at work a few minutes late, but i don't mind. there are much more important things in life like snuggling with your sleepy baby or coloring kittens drinking milk in a coloring book than being at my desk by 8am.
unfortunately, work is something that we all have to do unless we've won the powerball. we put up with the crap and the stress and the guilt of it all to pay our bills and make our way through life. it's a fact of life but, that still doesn't mean that it can't suck, right?
Friday, September 21, 2007
i wonder where the time went.
last weekend, we celebrated my oldest daughter's 5th birthday. it's hard to believe that 5 years have passed since she came into our lives. how is it possible that she is that old already?
the more i thought about her age and how quickly 5 years passed, the more i thought of other moments that made me think, "huh. really? it's been that long?" here are a few:
1) i've known my fellow ww for 11 years now.
2) i graduated from college 7 years ago.
3) i am nearly 30 years old.
4) my oldest friend jess (whom i still keep in touch with) and i have been friends for 23 years!
5) i've been driving for 13 years.
6) my grandfather passed away 17 years ago.
7) my parents have lived too, too far away from me for 10 years.
8) i've been building up my 401k for 7 years.
9) my husband had 2 brain surgeries almost 7 years ago.
10) i haven't seen a professional football game in 19 years.
there are many, many more that i could add to the list. it is truly amazing how quickly time passes by. just another reminder that we need to savor the time we have and try and not let time escape from right underneath us.
the more i thought about her age and how quickly 5 years passed, the more i thought of other moments that made me think, "huh. really? it's been that long?" here are a few:
1) i've known my fellow ww for 11 years now.
2) i graduated from college 7 years ago.
3) i am nearly 30 years old.
4) my oldest friend jess (whom i still keep in touch with) and i have been friends for 23 years!
5) i've been driving for 13 years.
6) my grandfather passed away 17 years ago.
7) my parents have lived too, too far away from me for 10 years.
8) i've been building up my 401k for 7 years.
9) my husband had 2 brain surgeries almost 7 years ago.
10) i haven't seen a professional football game in 19 years.
there are many, many more that i could add to the list. it is truly amazing how quickly time passes by. just another reminder that we need to savor the time we have and try and not let time escape from right underneath us.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
These Kids Are Making Me Crazy
I've just cleaned up three rounds of doggie diarrhea, so I'm having a difficult time focusing on weird things I do. I think I've got it, though. **Oh my goodness, the sight of my 3 month old puppy humping his humongous stuffed warthog almost made it fly out of my head. OK, ok it's still there. I'll send the dog to another room so my husband can keep track of him, and then I can focus.**
All right. Husband is unavailable, so we'll just toss Mr. Warthog over by the door and continue. I do a few weird things, **but now that the cat and the dog are fighting over who gets to rip the insulation out of the door frame behind me, I'd better just go ahead and pick one so I can finish this up and then kill some animals, or possibly myself.**
I sleep with one arm flung above my head. Straight up there. Not straight into the air, but straight into the headboard, which means I have to scrunch far enough toward the foot of the bed to make room for it. It's my right arm. Darlin' sleeps to my right, so often we will be nose to armpit. After a few fragrant moments, Darlin' will inevitably wake up, yawn, grasp me 'round the wrist, and shove the arm back where it belongs. I'll roll over, snort grumpily, and sneak it back up. It's hard for me to sleep if I can't have this arm way out in space. **If this fecking dog doesn't stop nipping my feet I swear we will have corgi flambe for dinner tonight.**
In the mornings, when Darlin' takes the Schmup out for a morning trot, Schmitty Cat comes into our bedroom and nestles into my opened pit (while I, yes Wicked M, snooze along to my snooze button at least twice). She likes to curl up in there, unlike my husband, who prefers non-B.O.-related smells like cookies and garlic toast and freshly washed Schmuppy Dog. **Which we get to smell often since he frequently requires baths, like tonight when we pooped and then walked in it and tracked it all over the floor.**
Besides this weird behavior, I also have this crazy habit of adopting freaking animals who drive me crazier. Possibly the arm stretching sleeping thing occurred at the same time as we adopted our cat and I started losing my mind. The world may never know.
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