Do I have to pick ONE?

Bad habits? I’ve got a few. Worst habit? What exactly constitutes “worst”? Most annoying to loved ones? Most unique? Most likely to result in bodily harm to myself or said loved ones? Most disgusting? Longest-held?

I don’t drink enough water. I hold grudges. I flop my foot (or feet) around in time to the music on my computer no matter who’s in my office without realizing I’m doing it. I’m always touching my face. I procrastinate. I sing along in stores when I like the song. I share about 90% of all the other bad habits of my fellow Wonder Women, especially G Love’s #3, super jane’s #1, and Wicked M’s #2. I wimp out on going to the gym. I correct people when they say “two-thousand-and-thirteen” instead of “twenty-thirteen.”

But my worst habit, I think, is that I’m an eye-roller. I mean, a constant one. Liz Lemon ain’t got nothin’ on me [see: “30 Rock,” Episode 707 … or pretty much any other “30 Rock” episode]. I’ve already rolled my eyes at myself twice in the typing of this post so far: once when I thought of the grudges I’m currently holding and noted how ridiculous they are, and then once while trying to remember a quote from a magazine I recently read about how “contempt” or “feeling judged” was a top indicator that a couple would get divorced or something and the magazine actually printed “Stop with the eye-rolling if you want to stay married” or something. Clearly I’m hard on myself about my memory these days. I also know that I can do both (roll my eyes at The Boy and stay married to him), so … whatever, magazine. You don’t know. [Insert eye roll #3 in as many paragraphs.]

I know rolling my eyes makes me look like (and yes, become) a hoity-toity b---- who’s never pleased by anyone or anything. I also know that most of the time I barely feel any truly negative emotions when I do it. It’s not an actual expression of anything other than a nanosecond of exasperation/disagreement/judgment/incredulity/condescension.

And like any bad habit, I have multiple defenses for it so I don’t have to work on breaking it!

1. At least I’ve graduated from sticking out my tongue. The two reflexes represent pretty much the same thing.
2. Nobody spends as much time looking at other people as he thinks he does, so half the time nobody even notices I did it.
3. I don’t get called out on it. Trust me, if everyone I knew said, whenever it happened, “Don’t you roll your eyes at me, woman!” I might do it less often.
4. In polite society (work, especially), a flick of the eyes heavenward isn’t really rude and it definitely isn’t an interruption. How do people know I’m not just praying for patience?
5. My dad is King of the Eye-Rollers. Hoo, boy! He can take those peepers and spend minutes searching the inside of his skull … and even sometimes get a little jaw twitch going for good measure. It’s a sight to behold and I’m just a princess in his court. I’ll never turn it into the work of art he has.

If you, fearless reader, have been on the receiving end of one of my eye rolls, please forgive me. If it’s not followed by a lecture, I didn’t mean anything by it and maybe it didn’t even have anything to do with you anyway.

If I’m brave enough to try to give up rolling my eyes for Lent, I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes. I doubt it will go very well. I just racked up eye roll #4.