Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The More Things Change ...

ME NOW: I like kale and spinach and bok choy and fennel and will even eat tomatoes and mushrooms when they’re in a really great recipe. Actually, I enjoy the majority of produce found at our wonderful farmers’ market and will even go to the farmers’ market just to go even if I don’t need to do any veggie-shopping. ME THEN: Tomatoes? Mushrooms? Never. Please pass the Wavy Lays and French onion dip—those count as vegetables in my book. And why are you setting your alarm for 8A on a Saturday to go walk around a parking lot to look at plants?

ME NOW: I cover myself in SPF 15 or higher every single solitary day, even in the middle of winter when there’s no sun to be seen for a week. ME THEN: Who says Norwegians can’t get tan? Watch me! I will spend the entire summer before sophomore year of college stretched out on the back patio from 11A-noon … prime baking time!

ME NOW: I love my Ford Escape Hybrid. ME THEN: What’s a hybrid? Are you still talking about plants? Did you end up becoming a science writer like Dr. Mac suggested?

ME NOW: The Boy and I get a kick out of trying new wines from all over the world. We usually make our picks based on the label art. It’s our little way to travel every couple of weeks. ME THEN: Hey, weirdo, wine is for snobs. Where’s the Mike’s Hard Lemonade? Also, while we’re discussing alcohol, tequila is gross—it smells and tastes like gasoline. ME NOW: No it doesn’t. Tequila is awesome. Just don’t drink too much of it … you get mean. Really mean. ME THEN: Whatever. At least you don’t like beer now. Do you? ME NOW: Ugh, no way. ME THEN: Good.

ME NOW: My idea of a perfect date is curling up on the couch with The Boy, wine in hand, after a yummy home-cooked dinner to marathon-watch “True Blood” or “Battlestar Galactica” or “How I Met Your Mother” on DVD. ME THEN: Except the wine part, that actually sounds pretty good. But you should at least go to concerts or out dancing or throw a party or something every once in a while. ME NOW: Yikes. Those options sound so exhausting.

ME NOW: We are recalculating our budget in anticipation of putting our condo on the market/house-hunting in the near future. ME THEN: Why do you need a budget? Doesn’t your job pay you enough to just buy what you want when you want it? ME NOW: And what job is that, exactly? ME THEN: I don’t know … something in publishing or writing or theatre or something … right? ME NOW: And that is why I have a budget. You probably should have spent more time thinking about career goals and less time fretting about boys during senior year. I mean, life is wonderful and I’m just where I want to be, but still, you had absolutely no clue how to look for a job. It’s a little embarrassing. ME THEN: I have no response to that.

ME NOW: I am extraordinarily excited about the prospect of meeting the kids of two of my best friends this summer—one in June and one in July. ME THEN: Wow. Kids. That’s wild—they must be so happy! I don’t think I’m interested, personally. Not not interested in your friends’ children … I mean in having any of my own. ME NOW: I knew what you meant. And that doesn’t change.

ME NOW: My thrilling Memorial Day weekend was spent doing laundry, cleaning the house, and moving almost every stick of furniture we owned so we could have the carpets done. ME THEN: My thrilling Memorial Day weekend was spent driving two states away to hang out w/my sorority sisters and drink and see Dave Matthews Band for about the eighty-fourth time. I win.

ME NOW: Sometimes when I get to the top of the stairs at home after a long day at work, especially when I’m carrying groceries or something, just for a few seconds I feel like I got hit by a small but powerful truck. ME THEN: Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped going out dancing all the time. That’s the most fun kind of cardio in the world. And it must be the secret to keeping in shape, because, dude, do I get sweaty when I dance! ME NOW: Well, there are other forms of cardio that are actually more fun ... ME THEN: I don’t get it.

ME NOW: One of my favorite little thrills at work is getting to use our colored Liquid Paper on forms that are blue/yellow/pink/green. ME THEN: That. Sounds. Awesome. Do you also have cool pens? ME NOW: Yes indeed. I’ve mentioned them before. ME THEN: Up ‘til now, I wasn’t sure about you. But I think you might not be so lame after all. ME NOW: Thanks. You might not be as frivolous as I thought. I’ll be sure to mention that in my current blog post. ME THEN: What’s a blog? Are you talking about plants again?

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