ME NOW: I cover myself in SPF 15 or higher every single
solitary day, even in the middle of winter when there’s no sun to be seen for a
week. ME THEN: Who says Norwegians can’t get tan? Watch me! I will spend the
entire summer before sophomore year of college stretched out on the back patio from
11A-noon … prime baking time!
ME NOW: I love my Ford Escape Hybrid. ME THEN: What’s a
hybrid? Are you still talking about plants? Did you end up becoming a science writer like Dr. Mac suggested?
ME NOW: The Boy and I get a kick out of trying new wines from
all over the world. We usually make our picks based on the label art. It’s our
little way to travel every couple of weeks. ME THEN: Hey, weirdo, wine is for
snobs. Where’s the Mike’s Hard Lemonade? Also, while we’re discussing alcohol, tequila
is gross—it smells and tastes like gasoline. ME NOW: No it doesn’t. Tequila is
awesome. Just don’t drink too much of it … you get mean. Really mean. ME
THEN: Whatever. At least you don’t like beer now. Do you? ME NOW: Ugh, no way.
ME THEN: Good.
ME NOW: My idea of a perfect date is curling up on the couch
with The Boy, wine in hand, after a yummy home-cooked dinner to marathon-watch “True
Blood” or “Battlestar Galactica” or “How I Met Your Mother” on DVD. ME THEN:
Except the wine part, that actually sounds pretty good. But you should at least
go to concerts or out dancing or throw a party or something every once in a
while. ME NOW: Yikes. Those options sound so exhausting.
ME NOW: We are recalculating our budget in anticipation of putting
our condo on the market/house-hunting in the near future. ME THEN: Why do you
need a budget? Doesn’t your job pay you enough to just buy what you want when
you want it? ME NOW: And what job is that, exactly? ME THEN: I don’t know …
something in publishing or writing or theatre or something … right? ME NOW: And
that is why I have a budget. You probably should have spent more time
thinking about career goals and less time fretting about boys during senior
year. I mean, life is wonderful and I’m just where I want to be, but still, you
had absolutely no clue how to look for a job. It’s a little embarrassing. ME
THEN: I have no response to that.
ME NOW: I am extraordinarily excited about the
prospect of meeting the kids of two of my best friends this summer—one in June
and one in July. ME THEN: Wow. Kids. That’s wild—they must be so happy! I don’t
think I’m interested, personally. Not not interested in your friends’ children …
I mean in having any of my own. ME NOW: I knew what you meant. And that doesn’t
change.
ME NOW: My thrilling Memorial Day weekend was spent doing
laundry, cleaning the house, and moving almost every stick of furniture we
owned so we could have the carpets done. ME THEN: My thrilling Memorial
Day weekend was spent driving two states away to hang out w/my sorority sisters
and drink and see Dave Matthews Band for about the eighty-fourth time. I win.
ME NOW: Sometimes when I get to the top of the stairs at
home after a long day at work, especially when I’m carrying groceries or
something, just for a few seconds I feel like I got hit by a small but powerful
truck. ME THEN: Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped going out dancing all the
time. That’s the most fun kind of cardio in the world. And it must be the
secret to keeping in shape, because, dude, do I get sweaty when I dance! ME
NOW: Well, there are other forms of cardio that are actually more fun ...
ME THEN: I don’t get it.
ME NOW: One of my favorite little thrills at work is getting
to use our colored Liquid Paper on forms that are blue/yellow/pink/green. ME
THEN: That. Sounds. Awesome. Do you also have cool pens? ME NOW: Yes indeed. I’ve
mentioned them before. ME THEN: Up ‘til now, I wasn’t sure about you. But I
think you might not be so lame after all. ME NOW: Thanks. You might not be as frivolous
as I thought. I’ll be sure to mention that in my current blog post. ME THEN: What’s a blog? Are you talking about plants
again?
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