Maturity, in Purses

Back in the heady days of my youth, back when it was me and only me that a handbag was designed to serve, I was a purse miminalist. The smaller, the better in my book – in fact, my favorite “handbag” of all time was the tiny card wallet with keychain attached that I used to carry around with me in college. ID, check. Credit and debit cards, check. Keys, check. The end. Maybe a chapstick in my front pocket, and I’d be done.

Later, the little red hobo was able to do the job that my pockets couldn’t quite manage – that is, carry my brick of a cell phone. Life abhors a vacuum, or in this case empty space in a purse, and so my needs multiplied to fill up the bag I carried. Tiny comb. Wee perfume. Gum.

And then I got pregnant, and I decided that it was necessary for me to graduate from Tiny Cute Hobo to The Gigantic Poppins Bag, or as I self deprecatingly like to call it, the Mom Purse. The weekend after my husband left the country for Brazil for 3 months, I cheered myself up by strolling to T.J. Maxx and dithering over a selection of 10 mom purses. After over an hour of collecting options, I whittled them down to 2: a gorgeous buttery brown over the shoulder bag, and a red Liz Claiborne with white stitch detail and polka dot lining. In order to never have to switch out black/brown purses again, I went with the red. And now I have embraced my space with gusto.

The Poppins bag currently holds:

In the sunglasses pocket
A pair of sunglasses
A pacifier
Receipts

In the cell phone pocket
My new work cell
My personal cell
A paper clip

In the first big pocket
Matches from the Outback Steakhouse
2 AA batteries of questionable charge
An old broken carabiner keychain
2 Chico bags (for groceries – yeah Sunni!)
My “inspiration/shopping list/used gum disposal sheets” notebook (yeah Amanda!)
A pen and checkbook
The instruction manual for my new work cell phone
A sample pack of the wipes we make at work, with the work logo printed on the pack
A disposable diaper
A pack of baby wipes
2 teethers

In the second big pocket
My wallet, reasonably stuffed
A receipt for a benefit I declined at work 2 months ago
The list of 401k investment options recommended by our broker 1 month ago which I still haven’t acted on
More work wet wipe sample packs
A nail file
Another pen
Another net bag for groceries

In the middle big pocket
All the stuff a woman shouldn’t leave home without – i.e., 2 chapsticks, gum, comb, perfume, lotion, hand mirror, tweezers, keys, Visine, lip gloss, and ancient Kleenex

In the side zip pocket
Grocery discount cards, coupons, 2 more pens, 4 patches (like, sew on patches – WTF? Where did they come from??), more grodacious Kleenex, phone numbers for baby’s pediatrician and insurance co. if the car breaks down

There you have it, baby! Everything but the kitchen sink!