Tuesday, November 4, 2008

If I Were In Charge...

**All of the Wonder Women wish you a very happy Election Day. We hope you exercised your right to vote!**

If I were President, there are quite a few things I would change. Here are just a few of the things that I would put into action:

-Election Day would be a national holiday. This would free up people to vote without worrying about getting to work, voting around work hours, and we could all sleep in if we want. I will also give every person who votes a small tax cut.

-Work days/nights will be flexible and people can work when they are able/when they want. Mothers/fathers who opt to stay home with their children will be given a yearly salary and insurance coverage.

-I will remove all of the energy-sucking vehicles from our roadways and replace them with energy efficient bumper cars that allow drivers to smash into that jerk who just cut them off. Incidentally, helmets will now be required to be worn by drivers. Drivers will also be given 100 "You Suck" Driving Points to dole out at their discretion. If a person receives twenty-five YSDP in a quarter, the driver will be restricted from driving during certain hours and/or to certain places. If a driver receives 50 YSDP in six months' time, their license will be revoked. If a person receives 75 YSDP points in a year's time, their license will be revoked for their lifetime.

-I will put two people that I trust inherently, my parents, in charge of the educational systems of America. They will not want to accept these positions but I know they will take our current system to task and have it in prime condition in a short period of time. I would then allow my parents to put other people in charge of this new system and then my parents could retire to the Caribbean ASAP.

-Anyone who wants to get married can.

-On The Border would become the official caterer of The White House. A margarita machine would be installed in The Oval Office. I will not mention a wine cellar because I have no doubt that there is already one at TWH. I am also sure that there is a fantastic beer selection.

-Vacations would be required for all people. I do not care if you want to travel or stay at home but you must not work for at least two weeks every year. Your brain needs a break.

-Universal healthcare.

-I would institute a pay raise for people in service professions. Teachers, police officers, EMTs, etc. would all be given an immediate raise in pay. I would also give each person a bonus based on the number of years of service/standard of service/coolness. I would do this by taxing the entertainment industry more heavily and by reducing the salaries of actors/actresses/models, etc.

-Pajama pants would be acceptable to wear in any situation. This is a must.

Again, this is just the start of my plan as President. I have a list of about 100 other things that I could have list here. Obviously, I would not try to abuse my power, but these are all things that are very important to me. I may never become President, but a girl can dream right?

*Incidentally, if I were a magician (and not President), I would totally make the whole no exercising, eat whatever you want, stay thin deal become a reality. Because that would rule.

1 comment:

super jane said...

pajama pants and mandatory vacations? dude, i think you need to send obama an email, stat!