Friday, November 7, 2008

I Wonder What I'd Decree?

My most important royal edict (no, I wouldn’t turn the presidency into a monarchy … I just like the sound of “royal edict”) would be this:

For every hour of volunteer work one completes for a non-profit organization or as independent community service, $10 of one’s consumer debt will be forgiven. All banks, credit-card companies, stores and car dealerships will agree to this proposal. No one can skip making a payment, of course, but one’s principal will be accordingly reduced every month.

Genius, right? I mean, how much more enticing can giving back to one’s community be? You can pick up litter at the park, you can cook in a soup kitchen, you can read to kids at the library, you can call out bingo numbers at the senior-citizens center, you can clean litter boxes at the animal shelter, you can usher at the symphony, and you can help get yourself out of debt!

And you’ll get addicted to helping others, I promise. So you’ll gladly keep doing it once your debt is gone, and the only incentive you’ll want is the feeling of goodwill and satisfaction that’s worth way more than $10/hour.

Of course, there would be other things, like having low-fat-but-you’d-never-know-it ice-cream vending machines. Like making eco-friendly products cost less than eco-harmful products. Like stopping production on high heels that hurt your feet. Like making it mandatory to give at least five hugs a day, and seven on Saturday. Like making sure that everyone in the country is given the chance to learn to read.

It sounds like if the WW were part of BHO’s Cabinet, things would be pretty great—maybe even more great than they’re going to be anyway!

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