The Boy and I have actually talked about this before. And we both agreed simultaneously that it would have NEVER happened that we’d have dated … or probably even spoken.
In HS, I was hyper, loud, judgmental, liked doing homework, tried too hard to be a comedienne, and was on both the yearbook staff and Academic Team. Despite those coolness-killing apps, I had lots of friends and lots of fun. But no boys. This trajectory has been well documented on this website, so let’s FF, shall we?
In HS, The Boy (and I have no firsthand knowledge of this as he was in another part of the state and light-years [five] older than even me, the oldest of the WW, so none of us could have ever been in HS w/him at the same time … not that I remind him of that fact all the time or anything) was not a serious student, played some sort of nerdy instrument in the band, ran track, was into backcountry camping, and dated lots and lots and lots and lots. And lots.
We both have acknowledged that neither of us would have been into the other at that time in our lives and that it’s unlikely we’d have even known each other’s names. It is safe to assume that our paths would never have crossed, and if they had crossed, here’s how it would have gone down:
HE: Hey, can I copy your physics homework? I heard you let Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* see your answers. (*names have been changed to protect … well, me)
SHE: [confused and terrified by being spoken to by a stranger; lying] Um, I don’t have it with me. Sorry.
HE: Oh, OK. [exeunt]
SHE: [turning to BFF J] Of course I let Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* copy. I’m unrequitedly in love with all of them. Who was that guy? Is he friends with Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry*? Do you think he knows if Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight? Do you think Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight? I hope Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight. Let’s go to Arby’s and get a Triple Cheese Melt before work!
THE END
In HS, I was hyper, loud, judgmental, liked doing homework, tried too hard to be a comedienne, and was on both the yearbook staff and Academic Team. Despite those coolness-killing apps, I had lots of friends and lots of fun. But no boys. This trajectory has been well documented on this website, so let’s FF, shall we?
In HS, The Boy (and I have no firsthand knowledge of this as he was in another part of the state and light-years [five] older than even me, the oldest of the WW, so none of us could have ever been in HS w/him at the same time … not that I remind him of that fact all the time or anything) was not a serious student, played some sort of nerdy instrument in the band, ran track, was into backcountry camping, and dated lots and lots and lots and lots. And lots.
We both have acknowledged that neither of us would have been into the other at that time in our lives and that it’s unlikely we’d have even known each other’s names. It is safe to assume that our paths would never have crossed, and if they had crossed, here’s how it would have gone down:
HE: Hey, can I copy your physics homework? I heard you let Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* see your answers. (*names have been changed to protect … well, me)
SHE: [confused and terrified by being spoken to by a stranger; lying] Um, I don’t have it with me. Sorry.
HE: Oh, OK. [exeunt]
SHE: [turning to BFF J] Of course I let Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* copy. I’m unrequitedly in love with all of them. Who was that guy? Is he friends with Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry*? Do you think he knows if Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight? Do you think Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight? I hope Andrew*, Alex*, Brad * and Larry* will be at the movies tonight. Let’s go to Arby’s and get a Triple Cheese Melt before work!
THE END
4 comments:
Triple Cheese Melt!!! I hadn't thought of that in years!
That was the best laugh I've had all week.
great portrayal of yourself! that was hilarious! i have always loved your energy!
Yeah, what I took from that was a fierce craving for Arby's. What the heck??
Andrew* Alex* Brad* & Larry* didn't know what they were missin'!
Okay. Ummm. So hillarious. But Larry*? Which one was that???
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