I Wonder What My Worst Habit Is?

For many of you sad, sad human beings who live in the northern 99% of the country, January and February are almost certainly dreary, chill, and depressing months through which you must slog before March comes in like a lion and (we hope) goes out like a lamb, bringing with it the promise of spring.

Suckers.

I, however – and yes I’m lording this over ya’ll, cruelly – live in a place where Jan and Feb are two of the best months of the year.  The end of Christmas heralds the beginning of Mardi Gras in both my old town and my new one, and the G Love family are happily preparing for a 6 week season of parades, crappy plastic favors, king cake, formal balls, and too much lite beer.

I bring this up only to highlight what comes next – Lent.  Although I have never been Catholic, I was borne of a Catholic mother, and my siblings and I have almost always recognized Lent as a period of time for giving up bad habits.  It is particularly appropriate now that I live down south - I overindulge during Mardi Gras, and then it all stops short when 11:59 pm Fat Tuesday clicks over to 12:00 am Ash Wednesday morn.  Mounted police clear the French Quarter streets of drunks and hookers (they all stumble right back out immediately after this symbolic end to the revels), and I, along with many of the huge population of Gulf Coast Catholics, begin a season of self-denial to make up for the preceding weeks.

It’s a good time, then, to examine what my worst habit is, as it’s come time for me to pick what I’m going to give up for the forty days between Fat Tuesday and Easter Sunday.  I have a number of foibles from which to choose – not brushing my teeth every single night (I know!  I admit it!), my midday beer on Saturdays and Sundays, eating whatever sweet treats are trucked into my office even if I’m not hungry.  The problem with many of my bad habits, though, are they represent an overindulgence of a necessity.  I eat too much, yes, but I can’t give up eating.  I am online too often, definitely, but I cannot give up being online, and moderate online usage (such as updating this here blog!) is such a good way for me to connect with beloved friends.  Lent self-denial has always worked best for me when I absolutely give something up totally, and not when I decide to “cut back” – but most of my worst habits need cutting back, not cutting out.

I’ve pondered giving up facebook – but again, as it’s my primary form of communication with a number of real-life, far-distant friends who I dearly love, I feel that to give it up totally would be mostly good and moderately bad.  I’ve pondered giving up meat, but that would almost be too easy, since we rarely eat it anyway – and besides, I think a little bit of meat is good for me.  Alcohol is a definite contender, as is television . . .  I already gave up the news, because it was causing me too much distress.  I can’t stop checking my phone frequently, as my firm pays for this phone for the purpose of keeping me on top of emails even through weekend and vacation times.  Hmmmmmm . . .

So I wonder what my worst habit is?  What, of all of these things I’ve listed, is the habit that most denigrates my daily life, harms my relationships with family and friends, hurts my body, hurts my soul?  I’m afraid, dear readers, that I’ll have to leave you hanging with this one.  I still can’t decide.  Luckily, I have four weeks plus two days of parades, food, friends, and fun before I have to figure it out.

I Wonder Why I’m Afraid of __________________?

For the first Free-for-All Friday of our renewed, refreshed, reinvigorated blog, I’m … cheating and diving into our archives. Hee-hee! I went back and found the very first Wonder on which I had bailed.

I enjoy reading message T-shirts, and one stopped me in my tracks a few weeks ago. It read something to the effect of “If you’ve got haters” [front] “you’re doing something right” [back].

That sentiment makes my blood run cold. I cannot handle thinking someone—anyone—is mad at me or doesn’t like me or is thinking/saying disparaging things about me. I’m terrified of being disliked. It’s a problem.

Now, I’ve lived through my share of Mean Girls and am sure I’ve been one a time or two. But even as a seemingly well-adjusted adult, I have a huge fear of doing or saying something that will result in someone’s thinking less of me. My pathological need to be liked knows no bounds: even if I strongly dislike someone … I mean, really don’t care for a person … I still need that person to think I’m nice and good and cool and want to talk to me and be friendly to me. I just don't have to do those things back.

The near-ulcers and wrinkles and gray hair I’ve given myself over this issue are numerous and ongoing. Even when I’m counseled by steadfast friends (whose love and esteem I should spend more time cultivating and be much more grateful for and never fear losing [which makes them all the more precious]) to let people go—when I’m reminded that people who don’t care about me or acknowledge that my feelings are valid or treat me with respect or reject my bonhomie don’t actually deserve my time/energy—I expend inordinate amounts of emotion and reason trying to figure out a way to gain the approval of said haters.

Is it a middle-child thing? Is it a female thing? Is it an I-was-never-actually-popular-in-high-school thing? These aren’t rhetorical questions, y’all. I could use some help.

Just don’t hate me for asking!

Is This Thing Still On?

So, we have taken a bit of a break here, but now we are back in business!  I have to admit that I have been desperate for a creative outlet and I am so glad that my fellow Wonder Women agreed to come back to this blog.  It has been YEARS since I wrote anything for Wonder Women, so I had to take a walk down memory lane to see what has changed in my life.  It would seem that almost everything is different.

In 2009, Superman and I took the most amazing anniversary trip to California wine country.  That weeklong trip will go down in history as one of the best trips of my life.  During that trip, we plotted out a great number of changes in our lives.

In 2010 we lost Wondercat after he went bonkers and started attacking us.  That was not so fun.  Later in the year we adopted two kittens who were meant to mend our broken hearts and instead they both left us too early -- one due to an illness and the other to an accident.  2010 was one of the worst years of my life in many ways and I was very happy to see the calendar turn to 2011.

In 2010 we set in motion the mechanics to make a move back to our homeland.  This took months and months of work and stress on both our parts.  We did manage to pull off what can only be described as the biggest surprise in our family's history when we announced we were not moving overseas, but only a few miles away.  The look on my mother's face was worth all the stress.

In early 2011, we moved back to the midwest, started building a house and began to get settled in.  However, a wrench was thrown in our nice and easy settling in plans when we discovered we were expecting Superbaby!  Superbaby made me nauseous for most of 2011 and arrived six weeks early to make the point that life would never again be predictable or uneventful.  This baby has blown my heart wide open and makes me laugh every single day.

During 2011, I also became a stay at home mama and I love my new job.  It is fun, trying, rewarding all at the same time.

So, to say that things have changed for me and that I have a new perspective on life is an understatement.  However, I have embraced all of the change and welcome the chance to share some of myself and my life with you.

Thanks for sticking with us while we took a break and made some huge changes in our lives.  We are the same women -- we have just matured (a little!) and have some new life experience.

My life since March 2009

Wow!  March 2009?  A lot of life has been lived since then!  So, to save you the pain and agony of reading about my life - month by month - for the past (nearly) 4 years, I'll give you the highlights.

1) My babies are no longer babies.  WOO HOO!!  I'm not a huge baby fan, so I'm so super happy that my girls are now officially in the kid stage.  Little Mama is 10 (grade 4) and Baby Angel is 7 (grade 2).  I'm loving this age and phase in my girls' lives.  It is awesome!  We're busy with homework, basketball practice, Girl Scouts, and the like.  Life is full and good and at a perfect blend of busyness and relaxation! 

2)  I graduated with my MBA in May 2011.  I didn't go to grad school with huge expectations of quitting my job or getting a fatty raise (although that would have been nice).  I went to grad school to prove to myself that I could do it.  And I did.  And I had an amazing time along the way and met some awesome people as well.  I'm so happy that I did it, but I'm equally as happy to be done! 

3)  Like G Love, we also sold our home!  In September 2011, we moved to the small town where my husband, Jas, grew up.  We adore our neighborhood.  We adore our home.  We've only lived there for a little over a year, but I still continue to feel blessed.  Our girls are being raised in a wholesome, supportive community.  We couldn't ask for more!  Yes, we have certainly found our home.
 
4)  And while I may not have diapers to change anymore, I did have another baby.  Huh?  Say what?  Yes, you read right.  On June 23, 2012, I gave birth to my surrobabe!  A sorority sister of mine from college (not a Wonder Woman, although she is fabulous too) went through a very difficult time getting (and remaining) pregnant.  After much prayer, consideration, legal documents, doctor's appointments, medications, injections, etc, we became pregnant with their son.  (bwt - Their son is in NO WAY, SHAPE, or FORM mine.  He has his daddy's sperm and his mama's egg.  I was only his incubator for 38 weeks).  It was an amazing experience and I feel truly honored to have carried him and brought him to life.  He was meant to be with his mama and daddy and I helped make that happen.  My heart is full!

I'm sure much more has happened, but these are the 4 things that stand out most in my mind.  Life goes by far too quickly!  I'm glad we are breathing life back into this blog and I'm glad you are joining us on the journey!

I Wonder What I’ve Been Up To Since March 2009?

This was posted by Wicked M on behalf of G Love due to technical difficulties.

As I type this, I hear four thumping preschooler feet pounding around upstairs, I believe in the course of playing Pirates in their pirate-themed bedroom.  If you have any recollection of my life four years ago, then you will already have twigged that I have added one set of feet during our interlude.  I’ll call my oldest Jake (formerly known as Frog, but he ain’t at all froglike these days – long and lean and nearly FIVE).  And his little brother, who arrived mid-year in 2010 and is already closing in on THREE himself, shall be known as Cubby.  (For those of you – all of you - not in the know, Jake and Cubby are characters from Jake and the Neverland Pirates, which my boys are totally into.  This week.  Next week I’ll probably have to change their pseudonyms again.)

In addition to adding another squawking child to my life, I’ve also since added a degree – a JD.  MSO Rin, humble as she is, insists that she has accomplished little since 2009.  I would characterize it instead as saying that MSO Rin found her career and her home early on and stuck with it.  I, however, have spent some time flitting about, struggling (as so many of our generation do!) to land in the right spot.  I believe this is it, as I love my new job as a lawyer, and although I will always miss Carolina (which I still think of as home), we are enjoying our new home on the Gulf Coast.  Our break squarely bracketed my law school experience, for which, dear readers, you should count yourselves lucky.

I also, as of last week, added a niece.  In beautiful symmetry, I now have two sons and two nieces.  We will one day break up those beautiful numbers by introducing a third to our brood - but not yet!

There was one major subtraction – a recent one.  Nothing bad – Schmitty Cat is still alive and well, she’s just transferred her headquarters to my sister’s home in Carolina.  Schmitty and Schmupp never did really get along, and once my sister took her for the summer (while we were briefly and chaotically homeless), she just . . . kind of . . . stayed there.  She’s much happier without the Schmupperdog to terrorize (herd) her.  And I’m much happier not having to referee their fur-flying fights.

During the Wondering break, the G Love fam also spent a great deal of time living in New Orleans, dear readers, which will almost certainly come up now and again.  (We no longer live there – meaning that since we last spoke, I have packed all of our earthly goods into cardboard boxes and changed my voter registration TWICE.  We have already made plans to die in this house, so I’m hoping I never pack a moving van again.)  Mardi Gras beads, beignets, and carjackings are all phenomena with which I am familiar, and you will no doubt see references to the Crescent City sprinkled throughout my posts here.  We only just recently left.

So, to put it more chronologically – in March 2009, you last heard from me.  In July of that year, we put our house on the market, and it sold in a week.  We moved into an apartment in uptown New Orleans, and in August I began law school.  The school year went well, and in the summer after that first year I had Cubby.  Seven weeks later I went back to law school for my second year, and in a flash Year Two and Year Three of law school flew by.  I graduated in May of 2012, packed us out of an apartment and into a POD a week later, we spent the summer living with our parents while I studied for the bar, I took (and passed the bar), moved into our new house three days before a hurricane blew by, started a new job a couple of days after that . . . and here we are.

So good to see you again.

I Wonder What I've Been Up To?

Happy New it’s-been-a-few-Years, fearless readers!

At the behest of Wicked M, we are back and about to wonder all over your 2013.

Since I’m the laziest … a self-superlative, mind you—these fine sisters of mine never said a peep when I was the first to abandon my post(ing duties) those many moons ago … I volunteered to take the première Weekly Wonder in the brand-spankin’-new year and even still-pretty-new decade.

And you’re just beside yourself with excitement, aren’t you? What in the world could I have been doing since I last regularly posted? What grand adventures have I been having and which life goals have I been achieving and what exactly have I been doing with my time in the roughly FOUR years it’s been since I was Wondering on a regular basis?

Wonder no more! You quit that! That’s our job!

I have, in the seemingly interminable break I took from this wonderful post …

… not done much. Well, I mean, the Boy and I painted our home office back in November 2010. That was pretty great. And we (along w/my siblings and siblings-in-law and dad) actually surprised my mom in December. That’s extremely hard to do.

You think I’m kidding. You think I’m being modest.

Well, you just wait until you see what my girlies here have been up to. You won’t believe it. They’re incredible. I actually wonder why they let me stick around.

I’m not fishing for compliments—you’ll know when that’s happening b/c I’ll just say, “Hey! Tell me I’m awesome! How much do you love me?” It’s more noodling than fishing the way I do it.

I’m just honestly, humbly, unfailingly, incredibly proud of my fellow Wonder Women and I’m as eager as you are to hear them wonder about how far they’ve come, how much they’ve done and created and earned, how rich their lives are, how in awe they are of one another, how amazing they’ve been.

You’ll see. I’m just happy they keep me around. That’s really all I’ve been doing all these years, fearless readers.

I’ve been being happy. And I hope you have, too.

Teaser Trailer

Stay tuned, fearless readers. We're back ... almost!